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I am in beginning stages of looking into assisted living in my area.


I am amazed at the variety of types of facilities. I’ve only looked at 3 of them and planning to look at a few more.


There are a couple I am not going to even consider looking at because they are extremely expensive and would never suit mom’s personality (happy hour with wine, no open door policy for visitors, fancy gourmet meals, etc).


Other than reviews, how can I check their history or reputation? Is it crazy to ask for names and phone numbers for other people who have relatives in the facility as a reference? Wouldn’t that be personal info that couldn’t be shared?


Different topic, but similar premise. I had a painter that I loved his work.


When he was asked for references, he would ask me if he could give out my number and I gladly said yes to highly recommended him. I certainly didn’t mind him asking if a potential customer called me for a reference.


Anyway, have any of you asked a facility to supply names and phone numbers with their permission? I don’t want to intrude on anyone’s privacy.

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As I have posted before we as a family have been much happier with an AL facility that is not for profit rather than one that is a chain of ones. I also agree that proximity to where you are helps greatly. The location you are in country and state wise may also influence the cost. We have experienced two in two different states. The differences are extensive. You may PM me if you feel I might be able to help you further. I wish you the best with this potentially difficult challenge.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 12, 2019
Thanks Riverdale,

I agree being close is a better option.
I don’t think any near me are nonprofit. I have only seen three of them and all three are profit.
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Does your mom have an old people network? That’s what I call my dad’s group of fellow elderly people he knows, either through church, former work associates, or extended family. People in this age group hear loads about the various assisted living places, they visit friends and family who live in them, and have insider knowledge about them. They know who has good food, where the staff is good, what places have, as they put it “gone down” The local senior citizens Center is also filled with people who know lots about the local asssited living places. Hit up the age group this affects for opinions and good luck
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 12, 2019
Daughter1930,

Great answer! Unfortunately, all of mom’s friends are dead! Most elderly relatives too. The few relatives left don’t live near us.

We do have a senior center nearby. May have to see what I can find out.

The churches too, another good local source. Appreciate your response.
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NeedHelpWithMom, it is good that you are starting to look around for Assisted Living for your Mom. I also was surprised at the different type of places.

As for calling family who has a love one in the facility, each case is different. The love one may hate the place and relays that to the family making up stories. Now, my Dad loved where he was, he had zero complaints :)

My main goal was to find a facility that was very close by to make it easier for me to visit, like just down the street close by. I could pretty much tell when I walked in the door if Dad would like the place for not.

One place was built like a Victorian hotel, beautiful curved staircase, lovely furnishings, a friendly receptionist, etc. One couldn't see the resident's rooms, nor the restaurant from the lobby, which I liked.

As soon as I drove up to the place, Dad said "where do I sign up?". He fell in love with the setting. We had a free lunch which Dad really enjoyed, as that was very important. Dad was ready to pack and move in :)
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 11, 2019
freqflyer,

That’s fantastic! Your dad sounds awesome. Easy going. You sound terrific too and seem really in tune to what your father’s needs and desires. I hope I do as well as you do in finding the right facility for my mom.
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