My mom has memory issues and gets confused and is a fall risk. There are signs that she has fallen several times and she is aware enough to tell me that she has fallen again. She has given up fighting with my father. He is a very controlling person and refuses to acknowledge that her living condition is unsafe and the quality is deplorable. My father is out of the house most days about 6 -8 hours and knows this is an issue but refuses to get home care in for my mom. He “tries” to get help by putting his kids who all work full time on the spot and when we can’t come, he puts her for a “nap” when he leaves so she spends about 15-18 hours a day in bed. We bring meals but he decides what to feed her. He doesn’t agree with the doctors medication so decides what to give her and what not to. When he is home, she is in a chair that he has chosen for her to sit in the rest of the time. He lies about what he is doing to care for her and gets very aggravated if we push him. She does not have showers or clean clothes for extended periods of time. The last time being 5 weeks. He doesn’t feel they are important and will argue with us. I could go on but I think you get the picture. We , 3 of my four brother and myself want to get home care brought in and we’ll pay for but he refuses to even discuss it and kicks us out of the house. She recently fell and broke her nose and shattered her knee cap. That has introduced so many more issues we’re battling but, when she was in rehab, she was a different person. Happy, social, less forgetful she wanted to move there she loved it so much. When he would show up to visit, which he scheduled purposely to get a free meal with her at lunch and dinner (he’s obsessed with not spending money) she would become negative and it was like a 180 degree turn. What recourse do we have to get her help that she needs either in home or to a facility with him saying no to any options we present? She has voiced her wish to be somewhere else but she does not want to deal with my father’s outburst and anger to keep control.