My mom has dementia since 2016. She is not always bad during the day, but she is very defiant. Any suggestions?

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I dont know what to do. We are thinking it's time to place her but she refuses. How do we get her to go when she is going to fight this all the way??

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If she is living by herself and making poor (dangerous) decisions, it probably would be time to place her.
My mom lived in a senior apt. complex. They made 3 meals, washed clothes and lightly cleaned the apt. once a week.
She started going down for meals at 3am! Many other very poor choices also. I had to "steal" her checkbook and credit cards so she wouldn't make bad decisions. It just kept getting worse.

I discussed this move with her doctor. He had her take an anti anxiety pill along with her regular meds the morning of the move.
I took her for a "doctor's appt." and she was confused enough that she didn't recognize that it was a memory care facility. I stayed with her the first night. They encouraged me not to visit for a week or two so she could get settled.

It's too bad that it had to be that way but she would have never gone willingly. She's well cared for now and the best part is that I don't have to worry anymore.
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Gypsy, this is a very common issue trying to place a love one in a higher skilled community. My own Mom was that way, I would show her brochures of a wonderful resort looking community and Mom would say maybe in a few years.... FEW YEARS???... my parents were in their 90's. Guess I would have needed to wait until she was 100 :P  It just scared me silly that my folks were still living in a house with a lot of stairs, and they were fall risks.

Sadly when a parent is in denial about their physical health and/or memory issues, we usually have to wait for an emergency to happen. Such as a serious fall or illness where we call 911, hospitalization, rehab, then a move into Assisted Living or a Nursing Home.
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