Fast forward to now. At this point I am just now ending the second week with my new job. We still haven’t really been given any work to do at this point. Which feels so strange. It’s like why do I have to be at work, with nothing to do. Really? But it’s a salaried job, so I am not punching a clock anymore. So if I have nothing to do, why am I here? They keep saying they will have us shadow other employees soon, but who knows when soon is.
This week also my Aunt who was still with my mom at this point, got some news. My cousin has breast cancer. So now my mom’s sister has to choose between her sister, and her daughter. Of course she chooses her daughter. So she had to leave my mom.
On top of this, my mom’s boyfriend gets into a car accident. It was a hit and run. Totaled the car. For once the police actually found the person who hit him. But this left him with a messed up shoulder and his leg in a cast. He is refusing physical therapy.
My brother is a schizophrenic. My mom was actually his care taker. He can barely take care of himself due to his illness. Also years ago due to whatever or however many laws he broke, and court summons he ignored, he lost his driver’s license. He cannot legally reapply for his driver’s license until he is 39 or 40 years old. He is still about 3 or 4 years away from that. He still is there and tries to do what he can, but without being able to drive and being barely functional on his own, there’s not much he can do, or understand.
So quickly the supportive people that were there for my mom, no longer are. As I said before my parents are divorced. I haven’t spoken to my dad in…I don’t know how many years, and I do not want to still. I really will never want to. Somehow he found out about my mom’s cancer and is basically try to use this to talk to me. That’s how low of a person he is. Why do I not want to talk to him? Well the main reason my parents got divorced is essentially because he publically beat my mom. I have no room in my life for anyone who thinks this type of behavior is okay or normal, and he does. He acts as if he did nothing wrong.
So yes. I have researched into Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and apparently you can only use this once you have worked for a place for a year or more. As this is only my second week of work, I couldn’t use this. I have no PTO as well. If I had a laptop I could just go. But I don’t.
Then on top of all of this I feel like I am getting conflicting information from different people. I try to call my mom and it goes straight to voice mail. I text her, and she says everything is fine. She is just tired. I tell her, she can call me and tell me anything. She says she will call when she has something to say. But I have other things to talk about too. Not every conversation we have has to be about her cancer. I tell my mom everything. I basically have no friends, outside of my boyfriend, and he is a fixer. Sometimes I don’t want a fix, just want someone to vent to. My mom was that person. But she won’t talk to me.
Then today my Aunt calls me. She asks me how my new job is going. I tell her that we aren’t really doing anything yet. Then she asks me when I think I can take time off to be with my mom. I tell her I don’t know. I tell her about what I found out about FMLA, and that I have no PTO, and that my benefits do not start until next month. She tells me about having to go to be with her daughter, which I understand. I tell her that if I knew before I quit my last job, I wouldn’t have quit. I would have been able to be there, and it wouldn’t be a big deal. But I didn’t know. She tells me, that my mom’s boyfriend is in a cast and cannot drive. That my mom is in a lot of pain, and that she keeps crying and saying she wants me there. Then she says she was going to contact my mom’s and her mutual friend to stay with her. I don’t respond. Eventually my Aunt says that she needs to go, and we end the call.
Please look for part 4.
I had breast cancer. You don't need your mother there for Breast Cancer. I had a partner there and friends. They helped me through. My mother was more than 1,000 miles away.
You don't need to be there. Your mother has a partner. They will handle this.l
Your mother doesn't even TALK to you?
But you will give up job and life to -----------------
to WHAT?
Leave this to your mother and her own support group. Let her know you are there if she wishes to talk to you. Wish your cousin good luck with her breast cancer (I am 36 years out from my own treatment).
Carry on with your own life and your own job in your own place.