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She is 95 years old. The CNA was in the middle of changing her and walked out of room because she was called to help another CNA. She was left for 15 minutes waiting, not fully dressed, she can't do it herself. She told the CNA off when she came back. Then it triggers my mom that she thinks the CNA is talking about her. She gets paranoid and that's all she thinks about. It is difficult. Any suggestions. I went and told the head nurse and she told CNA next time she has to leave her make sure she is covered up.

I know this happens in some places with poor management, but my mom gets triggered easily and tells things that in no way could have ever happened. Mom will never believe me either. You can just say that next time you see the director you will chat with her about mom's care. You don't have to mention mom's accusations, but you can ask the director how she thinks mom is doing.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I would question this. Never accuse just ask. "My Mom said she was left right in the middle of being changed for 15 min because CNA was called to help elsewhere. Does this happen? IMO, the aide should have finished Mom first but may not be the policy of the facility if an energency.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Get used to it, that's my suggestion. My mother was triggered by everyone and everything when her dementia advanced at that age, and she carried on continuously. Everyone was out to get her, insulting her, talking behind her back, not doing enough for her, etc etc. There's no fixing (or pleasing) 95 with dementia. As long as she's fed, clean and cared for in managed care, then she's safe and as well as can be expected. Take what she says with a grain of salt and expect her to complain a lot. It's the norm. Try not to internalize all the complaints or feel that you can get all of them fixed. Thats my advice.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I agree that since you stated your Mom has moderate dementia, and if she was the one telling you this information, you need to consider that it may not be 100% accurate.

Asking the staff to cover her up first was a good solution. I'm not sure I would call what happened "triggering", since elders with dementia lose their filters and sense of time, therefore acting like toddlers in which their every need is immediate and an emergency. There's no way understaffed facilities can pander to this.

Is your Mom on any meds for anxiety or agitation? If not, it may be time to have this discussion with her primary care doctor. Dementia robs people of their ability to regulate their own emotions so they very often need the aid of medications to keep them calmer. It's a mercy.
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Reply to Geaton777
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At 95, and if you are still competent and in our "right minds" we understand that much as we dislike the fact, life doesn't go according to our wishes or our magical thinking. These are the difficult facts of life we learn as we go on.
Unfortunately, when Alzheimer's hits we forget all we have learned, and we have to learn it all over again. Sad, that, but a fact. End of life care falls far short of perfection; I don't think that will change any time soon.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Consider that no CNA would just leave a resident that way if their help wasn't NEEDED elsewhere in that moment. Were you there? Did you see this happen with your own eyes? If not, then you don't actually know it was 15 mins. It might have been, but the likelihood is that it wasn't that long. If they had someone on the floor down the hall and the RN needed all hands (these days it's like 1 CNA to 15 residents), then sorry, your mom, safe in her bed, albeit only half dressed, was fine. I can't tell you how many Nursing Homes rooms I've walked into, with the resident on the phone telling whomever that they haven't been showered in 2 weeks, but their hair is wet, and I had to wait to do what I do with that resident because they were in the shower. Or, "They don't give me my medicine." but I pull back the cover and Oh....THIS medicine? That you hid in your bed? My suggestion is ask your mother how she was harmed? And if she had fallen out of bed, how important would it be to her that the resident her aide was dressing when she fell made sure that resident was covered up before they came to help her.
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Reply to mommabeans
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