I am not sure how much I can stand to watch her this way. I feel helpless and so alone.

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You should call her hospice and ask for a grief counsellor
Helpful Answer (1)

You can ask a Volunteer to come in as well.
Volunteers can sit with mom while you take a break. Most Volunteers will be more than happy to sit with you and talk to you as well. YOU are just as important to the Hospice Team as your mom.
And There are specially trained Vigil Volunteers that can sit with you and mom at End of Life so that you are not alone with her. Typically a Vigil Volunteer will stay 3 to 4 hours and another Volunteer will come and take that one's place. Quite often they will be with someone that is in a Facility and there is no family but they will come to a home as well.
This is a frightening time and having all the support you need or want is the goal.
Helpful Answer (2)

I will say, just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her, as only God knows that day and time that he will call her Home.
Being under hospice care doesn't mean that someone is going to die soon. My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and like Grandma1954 said below her husband was under their care for almost 3 years.
Your moms hospice nurse should be able to give you an idea of what lies ahead, though I can tell you from experience that even hospice gets it wrong sometimes.
And if things get to be just too much for you, at the end of her life you can have your mom transferred to the hospice home(which is what MeDolly was referring to below)where they will take great care of her until the end. And the nice thing with that is that it too is covered 100% under moms Medicare if she dies within the week or so. Otherwise you have to pay out of pocket for her to stay there.
How blessed you are to have a mom that you love so and that loves you back. Not all of us have been so fortunate.
So again just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and leave nothing left unsaid.
God bless you.
Helpful Answer (0)

It will not be different if mom were in a rehab, a hospital, someone else's home watching someone die is difficult.
Use this time to talk to her.
Tell her that you are going to be alright.
Tell her thank you for all that you have taught me.
You obviously had a mom that was good. I read posts here all the time and many did not have that so you are one of the lucky ones.
Hospice can help you prepare for what is to come. They can let you know what the signs of End of Life are but I can tell you from experience it probably will not help in the moment.
When caring for my Husband I thought I was prepared, I had watched him decline for 12 years, he was on Hospice almost 3 years. But the morning he died I felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it.
A week or so before he died I was sitting telling him that I was going to be alright, that I was going to miss him, that I loved him and it suddenly hit me...It was all "I" I was going to miss him, I was going to be alright. I thought wanting him to stay was unfair to him, he would not have wanted to continue to survive this way (I do not want to use the word "live" because he was not "living" he was a shell of what he was)
My tears were selfish ones.

Someone on this site quite a while ago mentioned Hospice Nurse Julie. I have seen her on Facebook and YouTube and she is very honest and direct and down to earth. She has a lot of good information and advice you might want to check YouTube and listen to some of the things she has to say.

Use this time to talk, to spend time. It hurts.

2 things I have hanging by my desk.
Grief never ends
But it changes
It is a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love


Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth
can't explain how broken your heart is.

You are not alone ((hugs))
Helpful Answer (4)
lilmama70 Oct 29, 2023
Thank you so much for your reply. No one prepared me for this. I am completely exhausted 😩. And it just feel like I’m not doing enough for my mom. Yet I’m thankful that I’m here for her.
Have you considered moving her out of your house to hospice? That way it doesn't have to be in your face 24/7.

I know that I could not deal with it.

Take care of you, sending you best wishes.
Helpful Answer (4)
lilmama70 Oct 29, 2023
My mom is on hospice, and I honestly believe that I’m doing this because God continues to give me the strength to do it.. it’s not easy it’s actually very difficult, but my mom is love.. ❤️
thank you for your reply
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