We have told her but she can’t remember and keeps going through the trauma every time we tell her. This dog was her life and we do not know what to do to help her through this. Should we tell her something else when she asks? Help!
That was a turning point for my mom. It was very bad... try to avoid the question and especially the answer. It will not be good.
The same question over n over. And they cannot believe what they are hearing... dog is gone.. So try to divert the question, give her a cookie or ice cream, or some kind of treat... turn on the music.. avoid answering it again.
Does she ask where the dog is, if you you turned the question back on her “ you know where she is or where do you think she is? Lightly with a smaller or giggle what would she answer? It all depends on where her dementia is and of course can change day to day but I believe our minds often protect us even when they seem to be turning on us from this disease and if you let it. Similar to living in the past or an “alternate” reality she may find a story she can deal with, that might even be that her companion passed you never know. I have found that I often worry unnecessarily about how to spin something and letting it take its natural course, let Mom take the lead is the best way to go.
The other thing you could try is a stuffed dog or animal to kind of take the place of the one she has lost, offer it as a surprise gift and let her decide what to do with it.
Loosing this important family member was likely hard for you as well so don’t ignore your need to grieve, having to be the one to actually go through the process of seeing the need and putting him or her down had to be almost impossible and no doubt you worried about everyone but yourself, it was a very loving caring thing to do but you need to care for yourself as well.
I’m sorry for your poor mom. Absolutely try diversion. No need to put her through this over and over. I do believe she will know on some level but best to let the memory fade. .
The same question over n over. And they cannot believe what they are hearing... dog is gone.. So try to divert the question, give her a cookie or ice cream, or some kind of treat... turn on the music.. avoid answering it again.
The other thing you could try is a stuffed dog or animal to kind of take the place of the one she has lost, offer it as a surprise gift and let her decide what to do with it.
Loosing this important family member was likely hard for you as well so don’t ignore your need to grieve, having to be the one to actually go through the process of seeing the need and putting him or her down had to be almost impossible and no doubt you worried about everyone but yourself, it was a very loving caring thing to do but you need to care for yourself as well.
Hugs to you
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Its kind of hard now but maybe the internet, get her a lifelike stuffed dog. If she is in an advance stage, she may not even notice its not real.