What else can I possibly do for her from far away? She has dementia and is in such pain with her back. I hate this place she's in. Moving her is not an option. She has no money and is on Medicaid (hence the crappy nursing home). And I can't afford to visit. The story is more complicated, but I'm heartbroken and feel incredibly guilty leaving her in this horrible place. I just need some advice and support from others that are in the same predicament. Thank you 🙏
Hospice would give another level of care to your mom. They would do some of the things that the Skilled Nursing facility does but the CNA's that would bathe her and dress her on the days she is scheduled would be there for her and not have as many other residents to care for. All the supplies she needs would be provided. She would have a nurse that would check on her AND if you want another visitor a Volunteer could come visit her once in a while.
If there are true problems with the facility you can report them. If it is "crappy" because it is not new and fancy that is another thing.
If she is not getting care. If the facility is not compliant with ADA regulations making it impossible for her to use a washroom, be safe, that should be reported. If she is with other residents that present a danger to her, that should be reported.
But..
If she is safe
If she is cared for.
If her needs are being met.
That is what she needs.
You have nothing to feel guilty about or for. I am sure that if there was something that you could do to change the situation you would.
You could search for other facilities that would take her and place her on a waiting list and when an opening comes up she may be able to move.