Just has social security, can’t live with us. What is there to do or call to start?
Home/ who do I talk to to even start?

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She needs to see her doctor if she hasn’t, get a full medical evaluation, and a referral for physical therapy. Is she receptive to this?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Daughterof1930
againx100 Sep 6, 2020
Yes, if she's receptive to going to the doctor to try to figure out what's going on. How old is she? With her lack of exercise and falling, she's not safe alone.

Sounds similar to my mom. Overweight and no exercise. But mine is afraid of falling so is very careful and hasn't fallen for quite some time.

Will she be willing to go to PT? She needs to get moving and improve her strength and balance, etc.
Medicaid also offers in home help. You may want to check that out. I agree about a good physical. Does she suffer from diabetes? Because neuropathy in the feet and ankles can happen causing falling.

You don't mention Moms age. I have a friend who is my hairdresser. She has been overweight for years and at 67 her knees have given out. She can stand long to cut hair but then sits down on her rollator and scoots around. Mom is in a catch 22. She puts on weight because she doesn't exercise and because she has put on weight she doesn't have the energy to exercise. But, she needs to lose that weight. It will improve her health and being able to get around.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

If you don't already have medical and financial durable power of attorney, get that important paperwork done now. IMO, it is a bad idea for anyone to take on the responsibility of caregiving for a parent without having the authority to do so. If she refuses to give you DPOA, she will have to sort these matters out for herself.
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Reply to NYDaughterInLaw

NYDaughterInLaw is so correct. If the paperwork is not already done this is the time to do it. Many Lawyers will actually attend your family at home to do this, with distancing and masks. You will need MPOA and DPOA.
What with the weight issue, if there is age involved, then I think you already know where this is headed. Begin to gently broach the subject. Stress the positive (to keep you more mobile, to increase help for you, safety, activities, help with appointments). I do not think that home health will help this long term with the weight issue.
One of these falls is going to involve hospitalization. That is the time to swing in quickly with Social Workers. They are masters at finding placement, something almost impossible for you in Covid-19 times. There is only Social Security, medicare and supplemental insurance so you are looking at applications for medicaid. It is time to get that paperwork together as well, for the 2.5 to 5 year lookback on checking, looking over applications, searching out information.
You are one of the wise ones who sees this coming. You are also wise enough not to spend years of trauma drama over "guilt and whether or not" you can keep the elder in your home. So use the knowledge to begin to educate yourself and prepare.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer

Also agree she first needs full physical, include cognitive test and for UTI for good measure.

Right away you can "seniorize" her home to make it less of a fall risk for her until you figure out long-term plan:

Next, request an in-home evaluation through her county's social services (Dept of Health and Human Services, find online). She may qualify for some in-home aid (but it won't be much and only a few hours).

Hopefully your mom has a PoA who is local and reliable. If she doesn't have a PoA it is critical that she do this very soon. Help her get this in place. See articles on this website.

My MIL had Humana back in 2016 at it sucked. Hopefully they have improved since then. Not every state covers Assisted Living but maybe partially through a waiver that can be applied for through her county's social services. She may be a good candidate for Medicaid, but again her state doesn't necessarily cover all AL cost, just LTC, MC and hospice.

Before applying for Medicaid please know there is a "lookback" period that can be as long as 5 years into her past financial activity. It is very important that she hasn't been gifting money or assets to people as this may delay or disqualify her. Best to pay for a consult with an elder law attorney familiar with Medicaid issues (it's money well spent in the long run).

Finally, temper your expectations of how this will go. Even with access to PT and good medical care, she may not do it no matter what. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777

It's so hard as a senior to lose weight! And yet we know that it's something we often need to do---I am 64 and have battled my weight all my life. I'm not enormous, but I could also stand to drop 40 lbs. I thought when I went through cancer I'd lose a lot but I did not lose a single pound!!

As hard as it is, we have to stay active.

Mother did in home PT after both knee replacement and her hip replacement and all 3 back surgeries. Within weeks of the end of PT she was back to slumped over a walker. She still has all the equipment to do in home PT but opts not to. In fact, I took the rubber bands b/c they had sat in the window and were rotted--actually making them dangerous.

I am finally sick of the back pain and hip pain that are a remnant of chemo. I plan to see the PT and do a round of exercises that work on the the specific areas that hurt all the time. I can only stretch and strengthen, the pain is for life.

If mom doesn't want to 'go' somewhere, there are tons of video-exercise dvd's out there that are gentle and simple to follow. Just moving---whether it's just walking with the walker for safety or following a video--I don't like to exercise, but something gentle gets me going and I do feel better.

(67 is scary-young to be using a walker. Our home won't accommodate one so both DH and I better stay mobile!)

For your mom, you'd have to call her ins co's and see what they can do for her. I can't imagine them agreeing to a NH or some such place just b/c she can't/won't exercise and move. Probably in home PT.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Midkid58

If your mom has Medicare it will pay for some therapy at home. Possibly at an outpatient rehab center if she has a way to get there.
Call her doctor and ask if s/he can order therapy since she continues to fall. S/he will probably want her to come in but a telemedicine visit can be arranged with many doctors these days through FaceTime on your phone. Medicare covers that and it’s much easier for the caregiver and the patient.
The doctor could also order home health to evaluate her for services such as setting up her meds, getting a bathing aide in and setting up the physical therapy.
Now this is if your mom is on traditional Medicare with the Humana as a supplement or for drug coverage.
If she is on one of the “advantage” Medicare plans,I don’t know what it will cover.
Contact your Area Agency on Aging and see what services are available for her there.

Here is a link.

By the way. Good that you are advocating for her now.
A loss of only 10% of her weight can make a big difference in the quality of her life.
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Reply to 97yroldmom

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