LynnCat, Welcome to Forum. I was just mentioning to another poster that we have so many new members with questions.
I think while your Mom is hospitalized now its a good time for a thorough examination of the reasons for these falls. Rehab may also be a good idea, as there PT can assess whether this is a matter of weakness and illness or an issue of balance.
You say you live with your Mom, so I know you will already have assessed your home for issues that may cause falls (loose carpet etc). Have you found any reasons for these falls you can identify?
Wishing you luck. Try to see a SW while you are there to discuss discharge planning and issues that worry you regarding homegoing.
There’s no way you failed her. Please accept that falls are just the curse of the elderly and will happen no matter what you do. My dad had many nasty falls, some of them when I was literally right next to him, and there was nothing to prevent it from happening. Now is the time for gathering information from doctors and the hospital social worker, find out what they think is the safest plan for your mom, what exactly her diagnosis is, and where they see this going, whether therapy will be useful, and please let them know she will need more help than just you. That’s not you failing, it’s mom’s needs increasing as the natural course over time. I wish you both peace
Medicare only covers inpatient stays greater than 2 days in some cases. Make sure your mom's stay is at least 48 hours or she may be on the hook for part of the cost. Sounds like she is "unsafe" as others have noted.
My late husband was a fall risk and fell quite a bit even with me being in the house with him. One cannot be right next to a person 24/7, and even if we could, they still could fall with us right next to them. So no you did not fail your mom. She's obviously having some issues, so the best thing to do is to find out why she is falling and then do what you can do to get her the help she needs. I wish you both the very best.
In order for her to have rehab services covered in a facility, she will need to be an admitted (not observation status) patient for 3 nights.
Try to get her status changed to admitted.
Then talk to the dishcarge folks about getting her to in-patient rehab. Thereapy can help with stamina, balance, learning to use a walker and other Activities of Daily Living (ADLs).
Emphasize that it would be an "unsafe discharge" to send her home as she will be there alone.
I was thinking the same thing, Barb. Try your very best to get mom admitted.
I used to throw a mini "fit" in the ER with my mother, making them say the words to me : "yes, she's being admitted" just so she could be placed in rehab to get her strength back.
It’s not your fault. Elderly people fall with someone standing right next to them. Sometimes they fall when they are using a walker for support too. So, please don’t blame yourself.
You might ask the staff if they feel physical and occupational therapy would help.
Both the symptoms of “cognitive decline AND becoming a fall risk, can happen over a longer period of time OR OVERNIGHT, and it is often difficult to predict what symptoms you are seeing.
”Guilt” is a useless reaction to problem solving, and it often requires some calm objective reflection to get to a reasonable re-set for both your mother and yourself.
While she is under supervised hospital care, request a screening assessment of her current level of functioning.
What she is saying, and what she wants, may (or may NOT) be relevant to what she NEEDS in order to continue to live safely and as healthfully as possible.
You are NOT, and no one is, able to perform miracles.
LEARN WHATEVER YOU CAN about why she’s falling.
You ARE doing the right thing if you remain calm, as objective as you can, and engaged with the professional input you receive.
Many of us have lived this, and we’re here for you.
You have not failed, but you do need to seek some help. Feeling like you are responsible just shows that you're wrought and tired. Talk to a social worker/psychologist, family and or friends. People age, they become fragile, imobile, sick. We help them and care for them, but it is not our fault when the deterioration gets too much and they need to go into a care facility. It is not your fault. Feeling guilt doesn't help the situation, it just shows how tired you are and how close to everything you are. Have a rest when you can and don't blame yourself. The experts will tell you if its safe for her to come home, make sure to express your concerns too.
I think while your Mom is hospitalized now its a good time for a thorough examination of the reasons for these falls. Rehab may also be a good idea, as there PT can assess whether this is a matter of weakness and illness or an issue of balance.
You say you live with your Mom, so I know you will already have assessed your home for issues that may cause falls (loose carpet etc). Have you found any reasons for these falls you can identify?
Wishing you luck. Try to see a SW while you are there to discuss discharge planning and issues that worry you regarding homegoing.
So no you did not fail your mom. She's obviously having some issues, so the best thing to do is to find out why she is falling and then do what you can do to get her the help she needs.
I wish you both the very best.
Try to get her status changed to admitted.
Then talk to the dishcarge folks about getting her to in-patient rehab. Thereapy can help with stamina, balance, learning to use a walker and other Activities of Daily Living (ADLs).
Emphasize that it would be an "unsafe discharge" to send her home as she will be there alone.
I used to throw a mini "fit" in the ER with my mother, making them say the words to me : "yes, she's being admitted" just so she could be placed in rehab to get her strength back.
You might ask the staff if they feel physical and occupational therapy would help.
Best wishes to you and your mom.
”Guilt” is a useless reaction to problem solving, and it often requires some calm objective reflection to get to a reasonable re-set for both your mother and yourself.
While she is under supervised hospital care, request a screening assessment of her current level of functioning.
What she is saying, and what she wants, may (or may NOT) be relevant to what she NEEDS in order to continue to live safely and as healthfully as possible.
You are NOT, and no one is, able to perform miracles.
LEARN WHATEVER YOU CAN about why she’s falling.
You ARE doing the right thing if you remain calm, as objective as you can, and engaged with the professional input you receive.
Many of us have lived this, and we’re here for you.
People age, they become fragile, imobile, sick. We help them and care for them, but it is not our fault when the deterioration gets too much and they need to go into a care facility.
It is not your fault. Feeling guilt doesn't help the situation, it just shows how tired you are and how close to everything you are. Have a rest when you can and don't blame yourself.
The experts will tell you if its safe for her to come home, make sure to express your concerns too.