My psych doc says his goal in life is to have me come in and say "I am sleeping GREAT"...before he retires.
I don't think it will happen.
Sexual abuse for many years by an older brother keeps me on my toes--even though he is dead and the abuse stopped 50+ years ago. Last night I had horrible nightmares--time to see my therapist and fine tune the anxiety so I can sleep.
So far the most helpful is a dose of Seroquel and then right to bed--no reading, just close my eyes and think of as little as possible. I still have nightmares, but I can wake up and then go back to sleep.
My DH decided 10 years ago he HAD to have the TV in the bedroom and it had to stay on all night long, no matter what I wanted. I moved out, and now have become so accustomed to the silence--I doubt that we'll ever share a bed. Sad to think he's chosen a TV over me---but he has. I know we're not alone. He says he needs the TV on to help him sleep and I don't even want one in the house.
You say this started when mom died? There's maybe something to that, esp if you were caring for her 24/7. You're so used to being on high alert...worth a visit or two to a pysch doc.
The best option I've found is turkey for dinner, even if it's just a turkey sandwich. Relaxing music or a relaxing book helps, as does (for me) thumbing through garden magazines or catalogues.
I also have difficulty sleeping if my mind wanders to past incidents, especially the traumatic ones closest to death. That's when music really helps.
Eat your last meal of the day earlier, do moderate exercises throughout the day, and a few toward the end of the day, and don't let your mind wander once you're in bed. Dream of something positive. What are your interests? Think of them, and develop plans or projects that soothe you.
I should probably add that I've had trouble sleeping, especially after each of my family died. I couldn't get past the last moments of their lives, or what I knew later and wished I had known it during their lifetimes. There was also survival guilt present.
One thing that's really been helpful is to think of ways I can help others in need, especially Veterans. Or I planned new gardens, potential new projects (like woodworking, which I'll probably never master). Focus on those kinds of thoughts and progress was motivating, shifting the thought process from recrimination to positive plans.
Sleep disorders of this type may be habitual behavior. Our brains kind of form these paths they travel habitually. What have you tried. Some recommend exercises that keep your minds from "thinking" such as we/wee, wail/whale, and etc. Take alphabet one letter at a time. Some recommend no reading before bed, and for some it works to read until sleepy. Some recommend radio talk show or music in background; some say silence. Some say darkening shades work, others like the night sky. Try some things. Try to avoid anxiety over not sleeping. Avoid medications. Avoid sleeping on a full stomach. For some few melatonin seems to work. Some over the counter meds which all seem to have the diphenhydramine common to benadryl in them, have the opposite effect of helping; for some others one half of a 25 mg benadryl is a godsend (check with doctor before any medications). Experiment if you have not. If you HAVE , and nothing works see your doctor. They may have ideas up to and including a mild anti depressant. What works for one person won't for another; this is about as individual to yourself as your own thumb print. Good luck and I wish you the best.
I don't think it will happen.
Sexual abuse for many years by an older brother keeps me on my toes--even though he is dead and the abuse stopped 50+ years ago. Last night I had horrible nightmares--time to see my therapist and fine tune the anxiety so I can sleep.
So far the most helpful is a dose of Seroquel and then right to bed--no reading, just close my eyes and think of as little as possible. I still have nightmares, but I can wake up and then go back to sleep.
My DH decided 10 years ago he HAD to have the TV in the bedroom and it had to stay on all night long, no matter what I wanted. I moved out, and now have become so accustomed to the silence--I doubt that we'll ever share a bed. Sad to think he's chosen a TV over me---but he has. I know we're not alone. He says he needs the TV on to help him sleep and I don't even want one in the house.
You say this started when mom died? There's maybe something to that, esp if you were caring for her 24/7. You're so used to being on high alert...worth a visit or two to a pysch doc.
I also have difficulty sleeping if my mind wanders to past incidents, especially the traumatic ones closest to death. That's when music really helps.
Eat your last meal of the day earlier, do moderate exercises throughout the day, and a few toward the end of the day, and don't let your mind wander once you're in bed. Dream of something positive. What are your interests? Think of them, and develop plans or projects that soothe you.
I should probably add that I've had trouble sleeping, especially after each of my family died. I couldn't get past the last moments of their lives, or what I knew later and wished I had known it during their lifetimes. There was also survival guilt present.
One thing that's really been helpful is to think of ways I can help others in need, especially Veterans. Or I planned new gardens, potential new projects (like woodworking, which I'll probably never master). Focus on those kinds of thoughts and progress was motivating, shifting the thought process from recrimination to positive plans.