My husband and I have moved my mom twice in two months, once across town in the city where she lived, to an independent living facility Mom had picked out, and then almost three weeks ago to an ILF in the same state as me, about 30 minutes from where we live, 500 miles away from her previous home. Even though Mom picked out the ILF in the city where she previously lived, once she got there, there were a couple things she didn't like and wanted to leave. She asked that I check out the ILF where my dad had lived near me, which I did, then I checked another and then a very nice ILF where she is now. Mom also asked that I check apartments too, which I did, but found it very difficult to find one with everything she wanted, so she said to never mind about the apartments. When I toured where Mom is now, before the move, I sent her information and took lots of pictures and sent them to her. Mom said she trusted my judgement, didn't love the cabinet color, and didn't want to pay more than what she was then paying. So my husband and I are paying the difference, which is fine with us, but Mom doesn't like not completely paying her own way. I'm happy to be able to help out more and have some time since I'm retired. Mom is 85, unsteady on her feet and in my opinion, a trip here to look at places would have been difficult and it never came up anyway. Now, as of yesterday, Mom's extremely unhappy and white-hot angry and feels she's been "dumped" where she is now, even though we tried to have everything ready for her, including a new bed and groceries to get her started. She feels we should have invited her to stay with us while we looked at places, but she did stay with us about a dozen years ago when she was recovering from cancer and my husband said no more and I can't blame him. I've been over several times to help get things arranged and do errands together. I reminded her that we talked over every step of the way of the move, which she denies. This ILF is a fairly new, beautiful place, with everything she wanted, but Mom doesn't like the carpet color and unfortunately then says different things different days. Like, she'll give it a year, or I dumped her, or she likes most things about her new place, or hates the view and the weather, or likes the view and weather, or wants to go on a trip, which I turned down due to the pandemic. I don't know what she thinks anymore, or she really does change her mind a lot. She does have some intermittent short term memory issues and now says she was never given a choice about where to live, that I'm a %$ control freak and now wants to move back to her former city and live in an apartment. My husband and I are done moving her after two moves in two months. Previously, I told her that over the last couple of years, she had often told me that felt like she needed to move to an ILF because she was having a hard time with cooking and really didn't want to do that anymore and she didn't remember ever saying that. Sometimes I think this boils down to she wants to live much more independently like she did years ago, but is no longer capable of that and is extremely frustrated and obviously unhappy. Mom doesn't leave her room where she is now and didn't much in the previous ILF. She was in the hospital in the spring and one of the nurses talked to her about moving to assisted living and Mom wasn't having any of that. I've had problems setting boundaries with her in the past and have had many clashes over the years whenever I have disagreed in the past. Mom chose to have one meal per day in her new ILF and she does have groceries to last probably a week, but doesn't seem to feel like food prep. At this point, I think I should just leave her alone for a few days; I wrote partly to vent and partly to see if I'm looking at this all wrong or ??, and for any advice. I'm not up for another move and Mom even told me when moving here to tell her that she can't move again. Thanks for reading and any advice you have.