It makes me sad when Mom tells me she isn’t happy with what her life has become. She truly loves her home, the staff & most of the other residents at the assisted living but I think she doesn’t feel productive enough. Any suggestions?

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Take it with a grain of salt. As our elders go through unwanted changes, they dump on the people they are closest to. And showtime their azzes off for everyone else.
Helpful Answer (1)

When my mom says negative things about her situation. I either change the subject to something pleasant/happy. your profile shows your mom has alz. so im thinking it shouldnt be too hard to turn her thoughts around.

sometimes I remind her how lucky she is. and list all the good things she has going for her. shes not aware she has dementia, so I tell her how healthy she is for her age. and that makes her happy. I tell her how pretty she looks today and how she always looks nice.

yes, she continues to make her comments. sometimes she puts other residents "down". she acts like she's "not like them"

she complains about THIS and THAT. I try to just listen, but whatever I say, is just forgotten....

bottom line....she cant go back home. no way. yes makes me sad. but cant dwell on it.

if shes not feeling productive....what does she feel like she wants to do?

I try to keep my mom as busy as I can. little stuff. we check her mailbox. she saves her newspapers so I can recycle them. take her on walks around the building. take her shopping and have her put the items in proper drawers/shelves. she likes to color with crayons/adult color books. one day she had too many pennies.(not sure how,cause she not supposed to be on AL bus to shop any more) but I had her count/stack pennies.
her AL also has a center court with plants. one man resident used to sweep and water the plants. my moms clothes closet gets messy (even tho she says "oh i'll do it later) I have her help me straighten up. idk , by the time my visit time is over. ive tried to wear her out! not sure how mobile your mom is.

I kinda do the SAME THINGS each time I visit. I have a little routine of activities.

when im not there, the AL is usually doing something. I know my mom stays in her room a lot, even tho they incourage her to be involved.

if SHE WAS AT (old residence)HOME alone, she would probably be WAY MORE BORED.

sometimes there's no is what it is.
Helpful Answer (2)

KiminAL, it is normal for an elder to say they aren't happy living in Assisted Living or hate how they life has become.

I remember one time someone here on the forum said that her Mom hated the place, yet one time they went to visit Mom, at an unscheduled time, found her in an activity where she was laughing and having fun.

Thus, just ignore it whenever Mom says that, or find a witty come back.
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