My mom (90) claims that my husband took my keys, went to her house and stole some money. Should I be thinking about dementia?

If your mother has dementia, which she most probably does, you need to look at things in a different light. She is NOT the woman you are mad at from your childhood and while she still might not be someone you even want to be around she is your Mum. It’s up to you now to forget your anger from the past because you’ll never get apologies. You may not be the right one to be caring for her? Unless you’re an only child. But you will be doing yourself a big favor by letting old stuff go and just doing your best to “redirect” her attention with regard to unfounded accusations. It isn’t easy and I know. I’ve been through it and am going through it with my Mum. Try and look at her and be more forgiving. This is the time time when you have to put on the parental mode and take care of someone you may not like but you are her daughter. You can do it. Deep breath!

has your mom been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia? If so.....there won’t be any reasoning with her. I would just go along with her, it makes no sense to argue and disagree because her brain is broken to put it bluntly. Telling untrue, outlandish stories is part of the illness unfortunately.

on the other hand, if she hasn’t been diagnosed, maybe this is a red flag and you should look in to having her evaluated.

Yes you should. My MIL once accused my cousin, who was visiting us .. of stealing money from her. I need to mention that my cousin is black, and my MIL hated blacks. We found the money on the floor of the house a week or two later, it had fallen out of her purse behind a chair, and we called my FIL to pick it up so there would be no confusion as to us replacing it. Add this to many other incidents over the upcoming years and yep, she had some dementia. She accused co workers of stealing from her, and my FIL of trying to poison her. She said a friend of the family who was an nurse and myself of giving FIL "poison" to do her in. They do not understand what is going on, and blame others for their own forgetfulness. My biggest memory is one night we made barbeque, and packed some up for them to take home. I looked in the cabin and saw her putting meat in her purse.. just meat.. not what was packed up. Told my FIL, and that was the beginning of her getting some help. They truly believe they are correct, and you can't tell them otherwise

I'm not sure you can 'resolve' this..........when a person with dementia gets an idea stuck in their head, you can't chop it out with an AX! Sigh. And, a mother who's been difficult all her life only becomes MORE difficult with the onset and progression of dementia. There was another thread not long ago about a similar topic, here's the link......hopefully you will glean an idea or two from everyone's responses:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-in-al-is-once-again-telling-me-that-staff-have-stolen-things-from-her-444607.htm?orderby=recent

My mother hasn't yet accused me or my DH of stealing from her, but she does accuse others. When my turn comes, I think I'll just let the whole matter go in one ear and out the other. At some point, it becomes about OUR self-preservation and not jumping down the rabbit hole WITH them, you know?

Best of luck, dear Lady. This is not an easy road to navigate, that's for sure!