She has cancer. Currently I am 41 and she is 83. I have no siblings. She weighs about 85 lb and had her stomach removed in her 40's. She's been losing weight for many years but the cancer isn't helping.
Since my dad died in 2001 I visit her once a week for 2-3 hours to help her with things. I have mowed her lawn, raked her leaves, and shoveled her driveway EVERY summer, EVERY fall, EVERY snow storm (and before he died as well). I've helped with all sorts of projects, fixing billing disputes, you name it.
She was accepted to a senior condo community earlier this year so since April through June I helped weed through a 3 floor house to donate, throw out, and pack everything as well as move it all over to the apt. She was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, so I was going back and forth to the doctor with her numerous times a week since then as well as helping with unpacking since May as well.
Now that I have her apartment livable after nearly 7 months (still lots of stuff she won't part with but manageable) I feel like I can go back to one visit a week. Although I tell my mom if she needs anything I will help figure it out like giver her rides and go more days a week if necessary. I also have a home care worker coming 2 days a week.
We get in little arguments here and there but today she really let into me saying I was selfish and I don't care about her. She says her friends will corroborate what she is telling me. She doesn't seem to have much common sense left. She told me I need to go to a psychiatrist. I'm not the type of guy to call all the time checking up on things, I show my love with my actions. I tell her if she has a problem or needs help to let me know and I will help her with it or the home care person can help. It's never good enough. She wants ME there numerous days and to call her all the time to check on her. Anything less and I'm a selfish horrible person. I told her I am not going to be her caretaker. I'm at the point where I don't think I will be going there any more at all. She has been miserable to spend time with for YEARS (not pleasant at all) and only complains to me the whole while I am with her. Most of the complaining is about ME, go figure. I can go on and on but that's the synopsys. Don't really think there is any answer to this I haven't thought of already. Just trying to get all this off my chest.