My MIL canceled her bank account & her supplemental health insurance, and has been served an eviction notice. Meanwhile, her son is dying.

My mother-in-law lives in another state, and we have been the only family members to give her any personal or financial support lately. She has burned her bridges with most of her children, and out of 6 children, only 3 have any contact with her at all. This include her second son, who is in the ICU and is not expected to survive much longer.

In the past two years, I helped her move into assisted living and did all the paperwork to prepare her for Medicaid and find Medicaid Waiver subsidized assisted living. We have her on waiting lists for 3 very nice places, but she has refused placement 4 times in the past year, even though she hates the place she lives in. We have paid bills, endured calls from all her debt collectors (she is heavily in debt), and helped her in many ways, just to be called liars and sneaks.

She is losing her memory, is paranoid, has alienated the staff where she lives and her hired helper, and blames me for all her problems. She cut me out of her life six months ago, and would only talk to my husband, until yesterday.

Then she calls me, upset that she wasn't notified first about her son, who is in the hospital with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. Her daughter called her on the phone the same day we all learned about it on Facebook. She even called her son's wife to complain. I get an earful. Then she tells me that she is taking control of her finances and has canceled her supplemental life insurance (which she claims I signed her up for without her permission) and BTW, she has been served an eviction notice. "But don't tell your husband, I can handle it." Of course I told him, then called the bank and found out that she also canceled her joint bank account with us.

Unfortunately that is also the bank account her Social Security and VA Benefits are deposited, and she has autopay on that account for her rent, her phone and her incontinence supplies. We have been through this before and it takes months to change direct deposit for Social Security and VA. Plus she is incapable of filling out the forms or going through the voicemail without assistance.

So even if she pays her rent by check this month, she will not have any money in January, and maybe February. We do not have the money to cover her in the meantime. I am still checking on the status of her drugs, but she owes the pharmacy hundreds of dollars anyway and is very close to being cut off.

I have checked into guardianship before, but was told that she isn't bad enough to qualify. I think she is now, but we don't have much time before disaster strikes. We have to find a doctor to certify her as incompetent, and without her cooperation, I'm not sure how to do that. I have sent questions to her Medicaid lawyer about alternatives and a referral to go to court, and we are contemplating letting the county social services take over. We were hoping to avoid that.

This all happened Thursday to today, Saturday. As of tonight, I've been told her son may not survive the weekend. We are still in shock, we didn't know he was sick until 5 days ago.

I haven't told the rest of the family yet about their mom, but I did tell two of them that I'm worried about her and she has been behaving erratically. I am trying to do what I can by phone (I have a POA on file most places) and my husband is packing to leave as soon as his supervisor says he can go to be with his brother, or if he is too late, with his niece and sister-in-law.

I guess if I tell them in a week or so, it isn't going to make a difference in that regard, but what lousy timing. I don't want to add to their burden.