I am just surprised that she is that cognizant and not something I expected. I avoid concrete information like - it's been 3 years, or Dad died 7 years ago and of course, that is more distressing.
My hubby knows there is something wrong, but does not know it is dementia. His PCP and I decided not to tell him due to his personality. If he knew he has an incurable disease, he would give up living. So, when he gets upset about not remembering things, we blame it on the time he fell and had surgery for subdural hematoma. He knows that when the doctor cut into his brain some of the brain was damaged and died. That gives him a modicum of comfort.
My father with vascular dementia and my mother with MCI were both aware they had some problems, particularly in the beginning. Dementia affected them very differently with Dad maintaining he was still very sharp (even after a TIA had badly affected his balance and an MRI showed 7 dead areas in his brain from previous TIAs) and didn't need any help while my mother accepted help gratefully.
Here is an example of someone I knew who was aware she had dementia and Alzheimers both. She was SO SWEET about it. She had a little Christmas tree on top of her chest of drawers which had pictures of her family members, and on the back of each picture was their name and relationship. Whenever I saw her, she said, "Oh, I am SO SORRY; I don't know you, but I think if I USED to know you, I LIKED you because you are so nice". So I told her, "Don't worry, every time I see you, I will repeat the story of how we met." and I did. I never got tired of repeating that story, because she was so full of love. For me, I am beginning to forget things. I am 74 and my mom had Dementia and Alzheimers before she died, so I know it may be genetic. I am PREPARING for this by writing notes to myself and taping them to my desktop. I put my name, social security number, emergency numbers, my own address and phone #, medical record number for my health plan, doctor and dentist phone numbers, Instacart delivery phone numbers, etc. I hope by preparing, it won't be so hard on my grown kids. As it is, I am now asking them how old they are because I can't remember and asking when are their birthdays. I really need to start a calendar for these things. That will be my next task. I think they are getting annoyed of my forgetting. They think I don't love them, and if I loved them, I would remember. So, they sometimes act annoyed at me when I ask them those things.
You can help your kids even more by seeing an attorney, an Eldercare attorney is best but... Get all your papers done. Who will be POA for health and financial matters. Do you have a POLST or other document detailing what you want done medically? Get that done so they do not have to make decisions no one wants to make. Get your will done. Start getting rid of the "stuff" in your house that no one wants. The cookie jar collection, Great Aunt Sophie's dresser, the Formal Dining room furniture, If you can afford it consider moving into Independent Living that has on the same campus Assisted Living and Memory Care. This way you will not be depending on your kids to "do for you". Or be willing to hire people to do things you can't do and hire caregivers when the time comes. Pre plan your funeral and pay for it so that they will not be railroaded into doing things you would not want them to do or buy, Take care of your health. If you are concerned about memory problems see a neurologist or a neuropsychologist. And when that is all done if there is a trip that you have wanted to take...Take it, do the things you have wanted to do but put off. Enjoy things while you can and that is with or without a diagnosis of dementia.
I asked my Husband if he was concerned about his memory and he said he was. I scheduled a memory test for him. The test indicated there was reason for concern and I scheduled an appointment with his primary who then referred us to a neurologist that confirmed dementia. So he was aware of memory concerns. He did refuse to discuss it after the diagnosis. The best course of action would be to get a diagnosis confirmed. Or it could also indicate other problems “lost time or gaps” can mean other things not “just” dementia. It is also helpful, if possible, to get the type of dementia diagnosed.
Get all your papers done.
Who will be POA for health and financial matters.
Do you have a POLST or other document detailing what you want done medically? Get that done so they do not have to make decisions no one wants to make.
Get your will done.
Start getting rid of the "stuff" in your house that no one wants. The cookie jar collection, Great Aunt Sophie's dresser, the Formal Dining room furniture,
If you can afford it consider moving into Independent Living that has on the same campus Assisted Living and Memory Care. This way you will not be depending on your kids to "do for you". Or be willing to hire people to do things you can't do and hire caregivers when the time comes.
Pre plan your funeral and pay for it so that they will not be railroaded into doing things you would not want them to do or buy,
Take care of your health. If you are concerned about memory problems see a neurologist or a neuropsychologist.
And when that is all done if there is a trip that you have wanted to take...Take it, do the things you have wanted to do but put off. Enjoy things while you can and that is with or without a diagnosis of dementia.
The best course of action would be to get a diagnosis confirmed. Or it could also indicate other problems “lost time or gaps” can mean other things not “just” dementia. It is also helpful, if possible, to get the type of dementia diagnosed.