My LO is in later stage 4 of Alzheimer's. I'm caring for him at home with my daughter, both of us get very frustrated. Any advice?

This question comes up every now and then and it is sad to see it. We are the richest country on Earth, but we have a terrible healthcare system. I am not suggesting that we should pay $0 for healthcare and expect premier services, but do we need to go bankrupt just to care for sick ones?

I am just venting …. I need my coffee.

This is SO not a question for the internet. Let me be the first to say: get a reputable elder care lawyer, and ask him/ her! Well worth whatever the hourly fee is. You cannot navigate this alone.

Drosie, a living Trust doesn't mean your loved one can get Medicaid. Only an irrevocable trust, that has basically some time ago given away the assets to the trust does that. You honestly now need an attorney. If you are POA you should attend an elder law attorney with a copy of your papers and his Trust. If the trust is in his name as Trustor and Trustee then those assets belonging to the Trust pay for his care.

I was made Trustee of Trust for my brother when he had a diagnosis of probable early Lewy's Dementia. His assets were all drawn into his Trust, including his checking account which was titled "In the Trust of (his name). He made me the Trustee. I paid all his bills for Assisted Living and etc. our of this Trust.
When any work is done making out papers for Medicaid or for VA, your husband's Trust is listed as titled I do believe.

Because this knowledge is CRUCIAL to get right I recommend you see an attorney. This is not something you can afford to make a mistake on. Please see an elder law attorney because the opinions of people on a forum are just that, opinions.

A living trust protects you from probate, not from paying your bills.

Drossie, Medicaid is very State-specific. Medicaid and VA benefits are complicated. Applying for Medicaid benefits when there is a "community spouse" involved make things even more complex

You REALLY need to get a well qualified elder law attorney in your state who understands how these systems work.

Most Memory Care facilities are private pay and do not accept Medicaid. I believe you'd do well to look at VA facilities and at NHs with dementia units.

So you want all the marital assets and the income and to have the taxpayers pay the bills? Good luck with that.

Just and FYI, you can NOT get both full VA and medicaid benefits. You will lose all but 90.00 of VA benefits if you double dip and get medicaid.

As far as your daughter needing his assets to survive, she really should have a job for that.

With his SS, military pension and VA pension, your husband may be over the assets allowed for Medicaid. If the VA pension is Aid and attendance, you can't use that and Medicaid too. Both government money and Medicaid usually pays more.

As said, this is really an elder lawyer thing. One who is not just versed in Medicaid but VA rules too.

It is time to discuss your situation with an social worker/attorney that specializes in elderly affairs. Do it now so that you know what your choices are and can put a plan together.

In addition, look at places where you might be able to place your husband. There are so many options that it can be overwhelming.

Once you know of your choices and a possible plan or plans, your stress levels will go down considerably, even if you do not take any action on the plan.

((HUGS))

Please look for a certified eldercare attorney. Pricey but worth it.

The trust is for after he dies, not who pays his bills now. Two separate things. My mom has a trust to stipulate who gets what when she dies, it has nothing to do with who pays her bills while she is alive. Mj1929 is correct.