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He is not happy when he doesn't get it when he wants it. He is more sad than angry. I have tried changing topics. I keep water, juices, and gatorade for him. Is there another way to handle requests and demands when you know it is not good for them to have or do?

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Many people worry that their LO isn't drinking enough, there is nothing inherently wrong with coffee if that is his beverage of choice. To cut down on caffeine switch to decaf after his morning cup, and if volume is causing "floods" use smaller mugs.
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Reply to cwillie
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What's wrong with coffee, if that's what your husband wants? At this stage of the game, I am a firm believer in giving them what they want, whether it's 'good for them' or not! They have a terminal disease as it is, what's the point in withholding life's little pleasures? If it's caffeine you're concerned about, give him de-caf.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Could he have decaff coffee or herbal tea? Would something warm in a cup satisfy him? I'd try to do that, if possible, but, if that doesn't work, sometimes, people will let go of something after a while. It's just difficult waiting it out. You might have to say you're out of out coffee, but, will get more the next day. But, I'd be glad to provide him with a couple of cups of coffee if he enjoys it, as long as his doctor says okay.

I'd also keep in mind that often people with dementia forget that they already said something and that's why they say it again. So, likely, he has forgotten the previous coffee and that's why he keeps asking. It's not that he's being persistent, he thinks it's first request for coffee. And, there's no way to make him remember that's it's the 6th requests, no matter how much you remind.

If you think it's more into the OCD realm, I'd discuss with his doctor. Sometimes, meds can help someone if they are overly anxious and hyperfocused on one thing.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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At that stage of life what’s not good for them kind of takes on another meaning. If that’s his sole gripe - use a weaker brand -maxwell house comes to mind - and do a flask. Then can top it up quickly and get a smile.
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Reply to DareDiffer
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