I am so sorry this is happening to your husband. What a horrible facility. It sounds like it is beyond time to find a new place for him. He deserves food and better care than he has been getting. I cant imagine the pain from his back injury.
Is your husband 'refusing' to eat, or would he eat IF he were fed? There's a big difference! While some dementia patients are no longer wanting or able to eat, plenty of others CAN eat and WANT to eat, they just need to be fed. If he falls into this category, which I assume he does, and the MC is refusing to feed him, then what are you paying for???? I'd have a chat with the Executive Director immediately and lodge a loud complaint, b/c it's their job to feed the man when and if he is unable to do so himself. If the problem persists, you'll need to move him to either another Memory Care ALF that can and will accommodate him or to a Skilled Nursing Facility that will accommodate his feeding needs. Or, you can hire someone to come in during meal times to feed your husband, but that would chap my hide to fork over extra money to pay for something that should be included in the exorbitant rent you pay every month.
I'd first demand satisfaction from the ED, and see what happens.
Thank you! He does eat some of his food if I feed him. I just cannot be there for all three meals. He recently fell and broke his back at the facility. His injury was not determined until his third visit to the ER. I begged the doctor on duty to x-ray his spine. Lo and behold, T-12 fractured. This is just a nightmare for both of us. I cannot a private caregiver on top of the normal monthly rates.
My husband refused to eat and drink anything for 16 days , he would not even open his mouth. He passed away within 20 days. Sometimes they are just done with it all.
He clearly cannot stay there now. MC often is not as regulated as nursing homes. Nursing homes often do have to feed any number of patients. As you can imagine this isn't always an easy thing, as many may require care and caregivers are limited. Feeding these elders is slow work; I have done it. It is time to explore other options for your hubby's care. It may also require a trip to the admin. You may be being counted on to do what would be done were you non-existent by others. Time to tell them you can no longer visit at meal time. Ask them if they are able to handle feeding and let them know you will be seeking other care if this can't be done. Then you may have to do just that. I am wishing you luck.
I am sure Covid has changed things, but my DD was a Candy Striper and one if her tasks was to feed residents.
I know there should be paid staff to do this job. But there is a huge reliance on volunteers in our care facilities.
By the time she appied for her first job, she had over 150 volunteer hours. She was a shoe in for her first job, the HR manager said she had never had any one apply with so many hours.
Many patients with very advance dementia refuse to eat. Some don't even know how to chew and swallow food. I'm sure the Memory Care facility knows how to deal with that type of patient. He shouldn't be the only one.
I'd first demand satisfaction from the ED, and see what happens.
Good luck!
I know there should be paid staff to do this job. But there is a huge reliance on volunteers in our care facilities.
By the time she appied for her first job, she had over 150 volunteer hours. She was a shoe in for her first job, the HR manager said she had never had any one apply with so many hours.