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Glad to hear that, Teeter!
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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You sure do have your hands full! What do you do when he is having these rages? Do you engage? I would leave the property! Regardless of the reason for it, you do not need to witness his outbursts. Yikes.

You definitely need some medical help in this department. This is not normal nor tolerable behavior. Does he have early onset dementia? I know it happens (FIL was diagnosed around 60) but a bit unusual. Could it be something else?

Does your mom need care too? Is sister helping? Hopefully you gals are a team that can work together and get things done.

Yet, there is a lot for 2 people caring for 2 people to do so you might want to bring in some outside help. Like a cleaning lady to start with, for instance. And someone to stay at the house so you and your sister can both get out every now and then.

Take care of yourselves too!
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Reply to againx100
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Grandma1954 Mar 9, 2020
The husband is 58 years young.
And violence is common with some types of dementia.
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I hope your sister is helping with the care of your Mom.

It sounds like your husband may have some frustration and anxiety. I would call his doctor. There maybe a med he can be given for this.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I second a contact to his doctor first, followed by a potential consult with a behavioral psychiatrist, who may recommend counseling WITH medication.

While you are in process with this PLEASE MAKE TIME to pull together a list of some small “treats” that will soothe your soul as demands on you increase.

I had my coffee with the moon yesterday, in my silent living room. A few minutes of wonderful. I deserved it. You do too.
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Reply to AnnReid
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anonymous954216 Mar 10, 2020
I like that......coffee with the moon! What a peaceful image, thank you.
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1) during the rages does he get violent at all? Is he apt to harm himself, you or anyone else?
If the answer to this is yes you need to talk to his doctor and explain the situation and say that you are not safe or he is not safe.
2) And has he actually been diagnosed with Alzheimer's or was this the diagnosis because the did no further testing?
3) Talk to your pharmacist and ask if this could possibly be a side effect of any medication he is taking. Let then know all prescribed, OTC, Herbal, supplements that your husband is taking.
4) Is there anything in particular that brings on the rages or is it just out of the blue? Is it the way he argues if you disagree? Is it a way he reacts if he does not want to discuss something?

The advice right now is when he begins one of these rages is just say "I can not watch this" and get up and leave the room. Do not engage in any more conversation as he will not hear anything you say. Do not yell, do not react other than to say you can not watch this and leave. Maybe like a child with a temper tantrum if he does not have an audience the rage may shorten in duration.
Also the advice is..if you are not safe you need to call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you feel you are not safe or if you think he is going to harm himself you tell them that.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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anonymous954216 Mar 10, 2020
You are right. I need to not engage, it is soooo hard. Thank you for your input and concern. It is so important to be here and not feel judged.
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You don't say whether you've discussed this behavior with his doctor, so that would be my first suggestion. My mom suffered a drastic decline recently that included some loud, argumentative and what I'd call tantrum like behavior and her doctor put her on new medication and that has helped a lot.
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Reply to kirahfaye
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anonymous954216 Mar 10, 2020
Had doc appt today. New med in process...........
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