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My toddlers did less damage with diapers than he does at 79. He is cooperative but confused. Today alone, 5 showers, 11 diapers. Two washing of sheets mattress cover and comforter, three complete washing of bathrooms. He doesn't seem to know when he gets it all over him. I am hoping that this is a fluke and temporary but this us the third day and still going. It's not runny but soft enough to smear all over. He already takes so many meds that I worry about anything over the counter like imodium.
We have been married 33yrs and have been through the losses of both our parents and my eldest son. We built our farm house with wheelchairs and live in care in mind so that neither of us would end up in a facility. I fear now that if something happens to me (still in fairly good health) he will not be able to live at home. This only came to mind when a couple of weeks ago I had a very bad fall injuring hip, shoulder, and most of my ribs on one side. I was still having to help lift him in and out of bed. He ended up spending one night on the floor sleeping on a pile of clothes he had pulled out of the drawers. He could not get up and I could not lift him. My friend arrived about 7am and was able to help push him back up on bed. Needless to say, I ended up washing a lot of urine soaked clothes. This week, he seems to be able to get up and down a little better but I am still not well. It just seems like one thing ges a little better and something even worse takes its place. Am I the only one who feels this way. NEED TO VENT!

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It sounds like your husbands care is getting to the point of being just too much for you especially after your fall and injuries.
Please don't ever try to pick him up yourself. call 911 and they will either send out EMS or the fire dept. to pick him up, and if he isn't hurt and doesn't need to be transported to the hospital, there isn't any charge.
My late husband who had vascular dementia, was falling all the time and I just called 911 and the EMS folks were always very kind and helpful in getting him back into bed. And there was never a charge.
It may be time to be looking into the appropriate facility for your husband where you can get back to just being his loving wife and advocate and not his burned out caregiver.
Wishing you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to funkygrandma59
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Glad that you were able to vent, but you are being realistic in your assessment of where this is and where it "might" go.

As to the stools, stop the softeners. All people are different and for some the stool softeners just don't allow for any sphincter control at all. The same can happen with too much psyllium based product. There is a mucilaginous sort of lining that just allows stool to slip out. So stop the softeners; it is clearly not the product for him.

You are being realistic in knowing that you're approaching your limitations. I am very sorry for that, but not everything can be fixed. You aren't superhuman, you aren't god, you didn't create this and can't fix it. The time is approaching when no matter your love and good intentions, you may not be able to meet hubby's needs on your own, and in facility care may be required. If the caregiving kills you first, then where is he?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I would have him checked out at the ER for possible stool impaction , as well as dehydration . This diarrhea may be leakage around a big hard stool in the bowel .
Call EMS to pick him up.
He needs to be checked and you need to catch your breath . Good Luck .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Others with better medical knowledge will know more. But when my kids where young the doctor told me once to put him on the BRAT diet banana, rice, apples and toast. I think it's s
To soak up the liquid in Stools. It was along time ago. Not sure if this is even suggested now.

Good luck , that must be so hard.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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waytomisery May 26, 2024
Applesauce , not apples . You want less fiber.
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