My husband was tested for dementia but no diagnosis was made. However it looks like it must be age related mental health because I can see changes in his function that are very significant. I heard him have a conversation with me as I woke from sleep he answered himself and came to a conclusion without me saying a word. He is paranoid, suspicious a lot of the time and doesn’t understand what I say to him unless I explain in many times. He is verbally abusive to me and has been for five years which was when I first noticed the changes.
If he is resistant to seeing the doc you may want to video some of his worse behaviors (in a way that doesn't agitate him, maybe covertly) and play it back to show him/prove to him and then maybe he'll cooperate and see the doc. I don't know how you'd be able to get any medications to help him without a diagnosis? He will only get worse and you will need as many options to help him (and yourself) as possible. Good luck!
Yes, there have been behavioral changes, too. I’ve learned to look for the triggers and try to reduce those. Usually he reacts when he feels anxious or tired and overwhelmed. Keeping a quiet home environment has helped a lot as well as anti anxiety medication. A diagnosis isn’t always necessary to make these changes.
To me it is neither here nor there. If he is abusive, and ESPECIALLY if you suspect he is deteriorating in health, NOW is the time to split. Make your plan. Or you will be stuck.