My husband was on a minesweeper in the Gulf War; 6 yrs active, 8 reserve. Maybe I qualify for a VA AL, or A&A (I'm much older than him)?

If your husband is still living then you yourself aren’t eligible for aid & attedance. A&A is for veterans and their surviving spouses. So while he is living, you won’t be eligible for A&A unless he is also eligible. If he’s not eligible now then neither are you. The VA will not pay for assisted living either (if you qualify for A&A you can use that benefit to help pay for AL), but they may pay for some of the extra services at an AL. But again, you would have to be a surving spouse. I don’t think the VA will pay for your LTC while your husband is still living.

Thank you!