I try to get out, but find that his anger and sarcasm makes it harder and harder. My son lives with us so he is never alone. He is in total denial over his diagnosis (understandable) but is very self centered. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Jmc0803, have your husband checked for a urinary tract infection. Such infections can add more confusion and create anger.

Take hubby to his family doctor and have the doctor do an urinary tract infection test. It is easy for hubby, all he needs to do is pee in a cup. If the doctor has a lab on site, the findings can be done quickly. This can be treated with antibiotics.

If hubby won't go to the doctor, tell hubby you are going for yourself and you would like to have him come along.
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Reply to freqflyer

Continue to go out. Son is there so you know he is safe. Like TN said, walk out of the room and tell yourself its the desease. His brain is dying. If this confusion is causing anxiety, then he may need some medication.

If its a fight everytime you leave the house maybe slip out the back way. When he asks ur son where you r, then son can say you went to the store. Like members have said, may have to start telling lies. You are entitled to get away.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Although dementia has some common symptoms and problems, it is also a personal journey for each individual. My father with vascular dementia became angry and sarcastic too while claiming to have no problems. (He just needed to keep the car keys in the ignition so he could find them - with the house key on the ring.) I believe what it comes down to about leaving the house, even when there's someone else staying there during your absence, is his fear and his reliance on you to help him cope when things "aren't right". You have become his security blanket. I also see this "security blanket" behavior in my mother with MCI, although she isn't angry or sarcastic.

The anger, sarcasm, and self-centered behavior are probably only going to worsen as the disease progresses. Your husband is not going to be able to control this difficult behavior as dementia damages more of his brain. Dementia destroyed my father's personality. Your husband is mostly likely going to transition into a person you don't recognize much of time.

I dealt with the behavior changes by telling myself that anger and sarcasm was the disease and not my father. Sometimes I needed to step into another room for a couple of minutes to get that perspective back and ignore the hurtful remarks. I would give Daddy a kiss and hug as we left while telling him exactly where we were going and when we would be back; that I was turning the security system on as we left and no one could get into the house without him knowing it and the police being called. I usually brought some treat back (take out meal, ice cream, donuts, etc). If you can make the transition to think of your husband's motivations as similar to those of a young child you can better determine how to comfort him. Like that selfish young child, it's just not possible to give him everything he wants, but you can be firm and kind when you need to tell him no.

I found the personality changes the most difficult part of my father's dementia to cope with, much more challenging than the loss of cognitive skills or physical problems. I will pray God's comfort helps you on your difficult journey.
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Reply to TNtechie

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