It sounds like you found the limit with traveling with him. Likewise my family also made the determination of not traveling with my mom and MIL. You might want to search for respite care or hiring through a service while you go on your own. Can you make up some sort of fib for going away? Caring for a distant family member? Surgery and rehab for you?
Hire a sitter to stay with DH in a different cabin where you won't have to deal with him at all and can enjoy your cruise! Otherwise, stay home. We often use the word "selfish" as if it were a bad thing. When dementia is involved, "selfish" is a NECESSITY for the main caregiver! You need lots of breaks and respite time. An Alaskan cruise is filled with adventure, like biplane rides and kayak trips. Do you plan to schlep DH onto a KAYAK or a raft to hang on for dear life over the rapids?
Let common sense prevail and keep your husband home in a familiar routine where he'll be comfortable. Or get respite care for him in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility while YOU go on vacation.
I know people from the forum have done cruises successfully but they have the money to pay for an extra family member or two or to hire a caregiver to come along.
I agree. When we down-sized, I wound up choosing the area that would give me peace of mind, not the area that boasted the most accessible healthcare. I cannot be an effective caregiver to my husband who suffers from Parkinson's without keeping my own sanity. As it turned out, he has an excellent medical community locally, the one exception being we have to drive two hours to see his Parkinson's specialist. A small price to pay since visits are every 4-6 months. Show yourself a little love. It's not selfish.
If he needs a babysitter, no, a cruise is out. You don't give us details of his condition overall, but I am thinking that your describing him as in need of your being there to "babysit" him means dementia. I would not be going on a cruise with someone suffering dementia, because it isn't like you can walk away, is it? Hubby may be having some magical thinking going.
No, you're not. He doesn't have the capacity to understand the demands his caregiving requires, because he doesn't have the capacity to recall what losses he's experiencing or how you have to help support him. It certainly wouldn't be enjoyable for you, worrying about him all the time. Caregiving should encompass your needs too. Is he at a stage in his disease where you can divert him by using a fib about why you can't go? Maybe the economy, or some other event you need to go to, or other plans?
No your not selfish. My Cruise was 11 days, land and water and very expensive. You can't enjoy a trip if u don't know what the person is going to do next. I had 2 flights out and 2 back. My flight was canceled out of Vancouver and I had a 10 hr layover in Toronto. Worst airport ever. This was 2022 and still COVID testing. Needed passports renewed because going into Canada. No way would I go thru all this with a person suffering from Dementia. Tell him "not this year". Tell him COVID is still out there.
Let common sense prevail and keep your husband home in a familiar routine where he'll be comfortable. Or get respite care for him in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility while YOU go on vacation.
You don't give us details of his condition overall, but I am thinking that your describing him as in need of your being there to "babysit" him means dementia.
I would not be going on a cruise with someone suffering dementia, because it isn't like you can walk away, is it?
Hubby may be having some magical thinking going.
He doesn't have the capacity to understand the demands his caregiving requires, because he doesn't have the capacity to recall what losses he's experiencing or how you have to help support him.
It certainly wouldn't be enjoyable for you, worrying about him all the time. Caregiving should encompass your needs too.
Is he at a stage in his disease where you can divert him by using a fib about why you can't go? Maybe the economy, or some other event you need to go to, or other plans?