My husband was diagnosed 2 years with mild to moderate dementia. He can't live by himself due to his other health Issues. I have just put Finances in a trust to keep safe. In order to do this he had to sign off on it.
Now he wants a divorce! Mainly because we don't have sex! I've asked his Dr and he looked at him and said really, with all that's going on you are upset because of not having sex?
I just can't, don't have it in me after taking care of him all day. After all the accidents he has, changing his clothes, answering all the same questions all day everyday.....

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I know that certain medications decrease sex drive. Antidepressants, for one.

My mother had dementia pretty bad, to the degree that I'm not sure she knew who I was at the end. But you could sit her down at the piano in the common room of the nursing home where she was staying and open a hymnal to some random page and she could play it perfectly.

So evidently core, long-term memories can remain intact.
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Reply to Doug4321

He is so young.

Securing your assets may not work if DH needs Medicaid within the next 5 years. It will be considered hiding assets. You would have had some protection as the Community spouse. You would have been allowed the home a car and half the assets. His half being spent down then applying for Medicaid. You would have received enough out of the monthly income to pay bills. For now, whats done is done. You can sort it out when the time comes.😊

Yes, intimacy is hard when ur worn out and tired. And doing "everything" for them is not very romantic. Love what Grandma had to say. May work.
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Reply to JoAnn29

The doctor should know about Inappropriate Sexual Behavior with dementia for petesake! ISB is common and your DH can become SO preoccupied with sex that its all he can think about. If, after all this, he wants a divorce because of lack of sex, I'd say it's ISB and his doctor needs to Google the condition and figure out a medication to prescribe to calm him down. Or better yet, find another doctor who's better versed in dementia!

I don't see that this is a subject you can laugh off or ignore if he's adamant enough about it to be wanting a divorce.

Good luck!
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Reply to lealonnie1
Pmwilbanks Sep 11, 2020
Thank you!
Tell him you have it scheduled for next week.

The divorce or the sex whichever seems more important to him at the time.

You could pout that he doesn’t remember the sex and that he was wonderful and if you weren’t afraid of getting pregnant you would schedule him earlier.

Im just being silly but it might work.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
Pmwilbanks Sep 11, 2020
Thank you
He has dementia. He won't be the first one asking for divorce. In fact he would not be the first one to think that someone else was his wife and want to divorce HER. It is much as with anything else he says that isn't really of this real world. Just one more thing. Just smile and move on.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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