I am the only caregiver for my husband. He sundowns every evening. Some mornings he wakes up with a persistent delusion. He gets terribly anxious and scared if he can't see me. He moves and walks so slowly I feeI like im living life in slow motion. I desperately need some "me time". I tried to leave him here at home with a companion. That escalated his confusion and he felt like he was a prisoner in his own home. That triggered wandering to get free. All our family is distantly far and can't help. Any suggestions?
I am so very sorry. This is such tough stuff and I wish you so much luck.
They will serve him breakfast, lunch and a snack and have different activities to keep him busy and may have(like most)a spa day where they will give him a shower and even trim his hair and beard if needed.
They do such a wonderful job with the folks that attend. Of course there is a charge, but if money is an issue they do offer financial help, as does the VA if your husband is a veteran.
Even if you can bring him there 2-3 days a week for 8 hours/day, just think of what you could all get done in that time, plus it would keep your husband busy.
It would be a win win for you both.
If you haven't tried to find a male caregiver, see if you can find one, someone who has the same interest as your hubby, such as golf, NASCAR, football, soccer, gardening or great literature? Someone who has a common interest might spark your hubby to be more accepting to having a caregiver or companion.
Many people come to the site looking for answers that will achieve what they want with no-one getting upset. It won’t happen. You need to make decisions about what is workable to improve things, and grit your teeth about the down-side. The only other option is to see if you can last out until your husband is so far gone that he won’t complain – and is that really a good idea for either of you?
Anyway, our closest adult daycare program is 20-30 minutes away and does not offer transportation but I hear is a good one and I’m going to try it even though I need my ‘me time’ at home and I don’t relish an hour in the car each day. Next step after that will be a day companion in our home. After that will probably be MC placement.
It’s really important to plan several steps ahead because you never know how quickly their progression will be, then stick with your plans regardless of how upset your husband gets. (I’m speaking to myself here, too.) That includes arranging the financial stuff ASAP. It’s hard though, when hubby has those strangely lucent days and seems almost ‘normal’.
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