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I need a break and thinking about respite care in a nursing home for a few days. But I feel guilty thinking about that cause I know he won’t like it. And I’m also afraid of him declining even more if I do this. Any advice? Thanks

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Jane, I think you wouldn't be considering Hospice Respite if it wasn't crucial to your health. Your husband is on hospice which is "End of Life Care" essentially. The end of life is "expected", if not the "goal", and that end to be as comfortable as it can be made. You DO, however, need to survive to provide the care, right?

This is a decision only you can make, knowing all the details. I trust you don't make it lightly. Things will not be, in planning one's death, any more perfect that life itself is. There are problems with which you do the best you are able to make the best decisions you can for all. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best. But five days of rest is little enough to ask.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Hospice pays for 5 days of respite care. Take it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Please don’t take on more than you can possibly be responsible for, of course your husband won’t like any change, and of course he will decline. But those things are inevitable no matter what. Just as your husband needs care, you equally need care, or the consequence is your health declines and you’re no good to him. Schedule regular respite, not just once. Do so knowing it’s vital to you both. I wish you rest and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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1.) talk to the Hospice Nurse or Social Worker.
You can request Respite and that is covered by Medicare/Medicaid. But if you just need a break for a short time ask about getting a Volunteer. A Volunteer will come and stay with your husband so you can get out. Typically the time limit would be 3 to 4 hours. A Volunteer can do NO "hands on" care. This might help out if you just need a break. Some Volunteers will do 1 time a week for as long as the patient is on Hospice.
2. ) If your husband is a Veteran he may qualify for Home care services through the VA. If he is a Veteran contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission to see what benefits he may qualify for.

You have the same fear I had when I placed my Husband in Respite. he did a lot better than I thought he would.
He WILL decline. It does not matter if he is at home or in a facility permanently or for Respite. The fact of life is there will always be a decline with dementia. Depending on the type of dementia the decline may be slow or fast. And if he gets ill even a cold can set him back.
Placing someone in Respite is for YOU so you can get a break and refocus.
You can not take care of him if you are not taking care of yourself.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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