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You can change your POA at any time but the time has passed for your husband to be able to change his as he’s no longer able to make sound decisions. Remember the POA was trusted by you both to look out for you and hubby’s best interests. Consider if exactly this may be what’s happening now, if there might be a better way to achieve your financial goal than putting yourself in debt and risking the security of your home. Clearly, I don’t know the whole story, if you want to share more, we can offer more thoughts. I wish you well in such a tough time
Hello12, please provide context for your question. We can't give you appropriate guidance if you don't tell us details:
- who is the current PoA for your husband, and who is your PoA? - why do you need a home equity loan? What do you need to pay for that you cannot afford? - what is your marital background (is it a second marriage)? - are there blended family dynamics at play? - what state do you live in?
As a spouse, you have lots of authority as to how all assets jointly held are dealt with; that POA cannot keep you from doing things with your joint interests. fwiw joint interest also spill over to income paid by SSA to hubs as your own SSA income is based on his and vice versa. Someone holding just a POA (and not holding a court ordered Guardianship or Conservatorship) telling you you have zero decision making authority on assets can pound sand.
So what’s the backstory on this? I’m guessing that this is not a first marriage? but a later one. and that POA is his kid from prior marriages? That the POA views you as adversarial rather than a parent to have care & concern for? If this is the situation, hello12, ya need to find a divorce attorney asap. You need to nip this bs behavior in the bud asap. Not so much to divorce hubs but to ensure your rights under your States “family laws” are enforced. And that is the type of work that divorce attys also do…. to ensure equality & enforce rights of both spouses. If my guess is right, you need to do this as the POA will continue to be a problem for you.
You need to see an Elder Law Attorney. He will assess your competency to act as guardian of your husband and your combined assets and he will give you options available to you by the laws of your state. You will find Certified Elder Law Attorneys listed online for your area. Wishing you the best of luck.
Only your husband can change his POA and because he is now well into his Alzheimer's he legally cannot do that, nor can he sign for any loans. You may just have to try taking out a personal loan in your own name to get you by for now, or try selling off some of your valuables if you need money that bad.
Even though your husband can no longer change the person who holds his POA, if you are competent (which it sounds like you still are), your POA is not invoked, your agent can't use it against your wishes, and you can change who your agent is. As igloo and Geaton asked, can you share some more specifics?
It would help to have more details of the family and financial situation driving you to want this loan and what is driving the POA to refuse to sign for your spouse. The fact that you are the spouse but not the POA shows some level of a lack of confidence and trust in your ability to make sound decisions. The POA may simply be trying to protect the assets of your spouse. On the other hand, you may have good intentions and might be trying to borrow against the house to pay for your husband’s care - which BTW does not sound like a good financial move to me. Do you know why the POA is against this loan? Do you understand that taking on debt is seldom a good solution to financial problems? If you can’t discuss with the POA, you will need to go see a good elder law attorney for advice.
You can revoke your POA if you no longer want this person to handle your finances. Just go to your lawyer and assign someone else, it will automatically revoke any previous POAs. Too late to change husbands.
Why do you need an equity loan? Are you talking about a reversed mortgage, those you really don't want to get involved in. You could lose your house.
As said POA is now invoked for your husband. Is yours immediate or needs a doctor to declare incompetence? Just a thought, maybe you should see an elder lawyer. Maybe time to split your assets in case DH needs to be placed. That way the POA just handles DHs split for now and leaves yours alone.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
- who is the current PoA for your husband, and who is your PoA?
- why do you need a home equity loan? What do you need to pay for that you cannot afford?
- what is your marital background (is it a second marriage)?
- are there blended family dynamics at play?
- what state do you live in?
So what’s the backstory on this? I’m guessing that this is not a first marriage? but a later one. and that POA is his kid from prior marriages? That the POA views you as adversarial rather than a parent to have care & concern for? If this is the situation, hello12, ya need to find a divorce attorney asap. You need to nip this bs behavior in the bud asap. Not so much to divorce hubs but to ensure your rights under your States “family laws” are enforced. And that is the type of work that divorce attys also do…. to ensure equality & enforce rights of both spouses. If my guess is right, you need to do this as the POA will continue to be a problem for you.
You will find Certified Elder Law Attorneys listed online for your area.
Wishing you the best of luck.
You may just have to try taking out a personal loan in your own name to get you by for now, or try selling off some of your valuables if you need money that bad.
Feedback here is helpful, although you must get legal advice from an attorney in your area.
You can revoke your POA if you no longer want this person to handle your finances. Just go to your lawyer and assign someone else, it will automatically revoke any previous POAs. Too late to change husbands.
Why do you need an equity loan? Are you talking about a reversed mortgage, those you really don't want to get involved in. You could lose your house.
As said POA is now invoked for your husband. Is yours immediate or needs a doctor to declare incompetence?
Just a thought, maybe you should see an elder lawyer. Maybe time to split your assets in case DH needs to be placed. That way the POA just handles DHs split for now and leaves yours alone.
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