Follow
Share

He has donated thousands of dollars. This is money we don't have. I setup a separate savings account for him and removed his debited card from the joint account. But every week I have to transfer money into his new account because of the constant donations. I opened a PO box in the hopes of stooping all of the MAIL where more and more business contact him with the latest scam. I have tried to explain that they are selling his information - which why the mail is growing. What can I do????
I have threatened to divorce him.....

Thank you all for your input!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Debiraz3
Report

If you have POA and u can take over when he is declared incompetent, then you have the power. You can cut him off. You can become his payee for SS.

First, if that junk mail comes with a stamped enveloped, put the mailings in the envelope and send it back. Circle the name and write "remove this name and any name associated with this address from your mailing list". I did this with my Mom, and the mailings stopped. Those that didn't have an envelope I emailed. I stopped all subscriptions to magazines, TV guides and Readers digests because they sell your address. If some of the mail have first class stamps, put return to sender. (Junk mail the PO will not send back but they have to send back first class)

Calls, get caller ID. When the phone rings u will see who is there. Pick the receiver up and put right down if not a number or name you know. There is a device that when a number pops up and u don't know it, u push a button and that number will not call again.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

My mother is the queen of the mail scams that come to her house every. single. day. She will pick and choose the ones she wants to donate to---an through exhausting myself telling her that of her $10 donation, maybe $1 is going to the 'cause'..she just won't stop.

When I was more involved in her life (she lives with YB family) I would bring in her mail and sort it and throw all the junk away before it ever even got in the house--but she caught on and said I was breaking the law by opening her mail (maybe technically, but I didn't open it, I just threw it away).

Now POA brother has to check over her checkbook each month to make an accounting to her that she's not in financial trouble. He says she still makes far too many 'phony' charity donations, but he doesn't stop her. She's also not able to write a check for more than $200 w/o POA's signature. So, she won't go broke, but it's very frustrating that she wastes so much money each month.

I think one reason she does this is that she keeps the pads of paper and return envelope stamps she gets with these. She must have (I kid you not) over 100 small pads of paper and thousands and thousands of address return envelopes.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Midkid58
Report
Riverdale Jul 10, 2019
My mother had tons of out of date stamps. We were determined not to let them go to waste so we would mail envelopes with all sorts of combinations of stamp amounts. Now there are still tons of pre paid postage post cards. No use for those but I find them hard to throw away. I dread taking her to the post office but at least it has to be more under control with me taking her. Such an exhausting habit we endure. Hope you are doing OK.
(1)
Report
Debiraz3, as mentioned before, stop transferring money into hubby's account as this won't stop the situation. It's like telling a child they can't have candy yet you keep filling up the candy bowl so the candy can be taken.

I saw on your profile that your husband has Alzheimer's/Dementia, so I don't know how far into the loop he is, and how much he is still understanding. Thus, if the bank account is empty, oops, sorry, he will need to wait for his next Social Security check. Hopefully while he waits he will find something else to occupy his time.

If push comes to shove, you [if you have Power of Attorney for your husband] can hire an accountant to take over the management of the bank accounts. Then that way, hubby would need to call the accountant to get $$$ which won't be an impossible task. Yes, the accountant will charge a fee, probably would be less than the money already lost on sweepstakes.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to freqflyer
Report

What was the point of opening a new account for him, then transferring money to it? I’m confused.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to rocketjcat
Report
Riverdale Jul 10, 2019
Me too. He should not have access to funds.
(0)
Report
You don't say what method he is using for these donations. I had this problem with my mother. I have cancelled many credit cards. She has use of one but after many conversations she does not use it in any extreme manner. She cannot have her checkbook. You need to stop the method he is using to make these donations.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Riverdale
Report

Cut off his credit cards. Change the pin on the account debt cards at the same time.

only thing left for him to do is to send checks....these quickie scams what the money NOW, before the mark starts to realize they have been had. But, if you see a piece of mail you don’t recognize the place it is going to...open it. If it is legit you can always reseal it,

Cut him off. It is what my Mom had to do. Each time he ordered a new card..Mom would cancel it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Katiekate
Report

If he cannot see the logic of the past results then it may be time for you to have POA over the financial assets. I would see an elder care attorney. Don't transfer money into the account meanwhile. If one of the Nigerian Scams gets hold of him by phone I am really worried. These are run out of several towns that are -- yes -- in Nigeria, and are run by just a few people who run it like a business. 60 minutes has an excellent expose on them if you can find out how to access that segment. Likely typing into google will get you there. It is, of course, possible to divorce him and still live with him, thereby separating your finances, but he will still spend HIS portion, and you would be spending a lot of money on Lawyers to be in somewhat the same position. Has he been evaluated for dementia? So sorry this is happening. Good luck. Let us know if you have solutions.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Stop putting money into the new account.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to LoopyLoo
Report

Each spouse should take an equal amount from the budget.
Do that.

Then consider the advice that will be forthcoming shortly before divorcing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Sendhelp
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter