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His personality began to change after he had the heart attack and retired. A couple years ago he was under a lot of stress about his heart condition and he became paranoid and was convinced that I was out to harm him. He filed for a divorce and at that time he changed the beneficiary on his retirement accounts from me to his sons. He also filed a transfer on death, leaving our condo to his sons, but on the affidavit, he falsely stated that he was not married. Then, a month later, he realized he was having mental health issues and started taking benzodiazepines and SSRI and he calmed down and canceled the divorce. Unfortunately, he stopped taking the medication shortly thereafter.Whenever he drives in the car or goes into stores, he becomes extremely agitated and yells and swears. I’m starting to wonder if he could be in the early stages of dementia. I confronted him about changing the beneficiaries and he came completely unhinged. I don’t know what to do at this point.

He most likely does have dementia, and you may need to obtain guardianship. He obviously is not thinking clearly. You need to contact an elder lawyer now, or you will end up with nothing when he passes.
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Reply to Lylii1
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The HIPAA laws prevent the doctors from sharing confidential information with you without a release, but you can and in fact should share information with the doctors so they have as much information as possible to act on.
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Reply to MG8522
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Moving out isn’t an option, unfortunately. I would contact his pcp but aren’t there all these hippa laws that prevent intervention?
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Reply to Jec215
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Daughterof1930 Dec 21, 2025
HIPPA only prevents the doctor talking to you without your husband’s consent. You’re free to share needed information with doctors and need to do this
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You need to get a lawyer on Monday.
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Reply to southernwave
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Yes, this is definitely a cognitive issue, and probably not the early stage either. Contact his doctor(s), if you can, through the patient portal and let them know of these issues.

If he won't go in for a cognitive evaluation, it sounds like he would see his cardiologist, in which case you could ask (in advance) for the cardiologist to refer him to a neurologist. Heart issues can affect the brain.

As suggested below, see a lawyer about all the finances, and what your rights are should you become divorced, or should your husband be deemed incompetent. Also ask how to protect your finances from any rash actions he might take.

If you ever feel threatened, don't hesitate to call 911. Tell them he has been having mental health issues and needs an evaluation for safety, both is and others. This might be the way to get him an evaluation and back on medications to calm him.

I'm sorry. This sounds scary for you.
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Reply to MG8522
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I'm sorry this is happening. Yes, your husband could be developing dementia. But the cognitive issues might have other causes. I agree that a medical evaluation is in order.
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Reply to Rosered6
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You need to take steps to protect yourself and soon. Start with getting your hands on all medical and financial documents you can find, minus letting hubby know what you’re doing. See an elder care or estate attorney, also minus his knowledge and find out exactly where you stand and how to best plan going forward. You can attempt to get him to a doctor for an updated medical evaluation that includes testing for dementia, but you may need to tell him a lie he’ll believe to get him there. You’ll also need to send a message to the doctor prior to the appointment outlining what behaviors you’re seeing and the concerns you have. Please don’t confront him again, it’s likely unsafe for you. In your shoes, I’d move out. Please protect yourself and be safe
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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