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5 years ago my husband had intense cancer treatment for a tumor in base of skull. Maximum radiation and chemo treatment with a G tube for eating. 1 year ago, a tumor removed in mouth. He is deaf & even with devices, it is a difficult "new normal" for both of us and our daughter. His trouble shooting skills are low, he easily becomes frustrated - it is exhausting. Any advice...I am a young 54, healthy active and working. I am drowning in this "work."

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One more thing to add - whether anything can be done to enhance his hearing or not, please try to find ways to keep his brain well occupied, aka learning new skills, learning about various topics, reading, puzzles of all kinds - keep the brain active, because studies have shown that hearing loss can promote cognitive decline!

First hit on a search of 'hearing loss and cognitive decline':
"Hearing Loss Accelerates Brain Function Decline in Older Adults. ... In the study, volunteers with hearing loss, undergoing repeated cognition tests over six years, had cognitive abilities that declined some 30 percent to 40 percent faster than in those whose hearing was normal."

The last thing you need on your plate is a deaf person with dementia.... our mom's hearing is truly limited but the Boogie Board can help (sometimes she can hear enough to figure out what you say, sometimes she can "see" what you are saying, sometimes pantomime works for simple things, writing it on the board helps quite a bit - if she ever loses her sight to the macular degeneration we continue to treat we are in deep doo doo!)
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Just a thought. See if your local Community College has American signing classes. At 57 ur husband is still young enough to make changes. Reading lips is something learned over a period of years. My husband has problems with people with foreign accents. They do not mouth English words like someone with English as first language. I have a friend who is deaf because her Mom was exposed to measles when she was caring her. She always thought it was better to be deaf than blind.
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For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, you may be a young 54, just be blessed you didn't get the radiation therapy and are deaf, your hubby might be saying the same about you. On the positive side there's lots of things that can help him and you understand his new life better.
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For those with the TV blaring issue - yes, do try the special headsets. We did this for my dad (his hearing loss was not really helped by hearing aids.)

For Elizabeth99 and others: most definitely get a full assessment with an audiologist and find out what, if any, options are available. Although it is not likely in OP's case, anyone else who is dealing with hearing loss, either for yourself or another person, that full assessment might reveal Otosclerosis - otherwise known to us as the Florence Henderson hearing loss! It is surgically correctable (unfortunately when mom was offered this she declined - now she has no hearing in one ear and very limited with hearing aid, if she remembers to replace the battery, in the other. It is a shame because it is surgically correctable!)
So, best bet again is to get a full assessment and see where that leads. If there is no way to correct or enhance hearing, many suggestions here can help:
lip-reading
ensure the person can see you (don't talk behind them or from another room)
sign language, although that can be hard to learn and take time
resort to paper or dry-erase board

One other option I found is called a Boogie Board. It is like that "magic slate" we had as kids, where you write on the cellophane over wax board and then "erase" by lifting the cellophane, HOWEVER it is better. It is small enough to be portable, uses LCD and a stylus (ANY pointy object, even your fingernail will work, just do not use a pencil or pen.) Quickly you can write something down, and then with a push of a button erase the screen. I find this easier than trying to find paper, is less wasteful than paper, and unlike the dry-erase board, no need to use an eraser or special marker (making it less expensive over time!) I got this on Amazon - there are many options, many offerings, so search for the best one for your needs.
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Elizabeth99: Options are as follows---
#1 Hearing aides
#2 Learn and use of ASL (American Sign Language)
#3 Cochlear implants (personally I know someone who has one cochlear implant as he is profoundly deaf and I will tell you it has given him a brand new life!
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This is a hard situation, and I commend you for shouldering the burden and not running. My advice is related to his deafness. My mother was deaf all my life, but was very skilled at lipreading. When she lost her vision, we were not prepared. I suggest your daughter and you start learning and teaching your husband sign language and the sign language alphabet. You may get to the stage where the only way you will be able to communicate with this loved one is through signing. I wish someone had given me this advice. Also, don't skimp on getting time off through paid professionals or other family members. Believe me, I know it's expensive. But this is work (no quotation marks!), and you, like any other worker, need breaks.
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My husband has been deaf since he was a child. 68 yrs. The bone behind The ear was damaged plus nerves. He has used hearing aids the whole time. The digital don't work as well as the the analog. He was able to find an aid close to analog. He explains his hearing loss as a radio with static and when u turn it up you maybe able hear words but not all. A Cholear in plant only works if the hairs inside the Cholia are damaged or missing. Doesn't work for nerve damage.
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Closed captioning should be very helpful when watching TV. My mother's TV has it although I don't think she can read and comprehend quickly enough to understand everything.
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A cochlear implant does not work for everyone. Both the cancer and the chemo/radiation may have permanently damaged the part of the brain that controls hearing. He needs to be evaluated by a neurologist who specializes in hearing loss.

I definitely recommend that both of you learn ASL, as others have suggested.
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I too have had gradual hearing loss since age 50. Wireless Headphones for the TV work beautifully. They run about $100 at Best Buy and they come with a charging station that you set them on at night to recharge. My nephew had hearing loss and then a brain injury after a car accident. His hearing loss is so bad hearing aids hardly help. His wife found a hearing "amplifier" on Amazon and he uses this during family gatherings. The amplifier sits in his shirt pocket and has earbuds.

Hearing loss is so frustrating for all involved. We tend to avoid crowded restaurants because it is impossible to focus on conversations when numerous people are talking at the same time. Staying home becomes the norm and with that depression. People tend to get snappy with us for asking you to repeat yourself. Please try to be patient and kind.
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Elizabeth I wonder if it would be helpful if you and your daughter could make up a small book or just one large sheet that has words and/or pictures that you and husband could point to for quick communication. And the white board that traysrus above suggested for more complicated thoughts. Also, a flashing light he could turn on to get your attention when he needs to, and vice versa.
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Dear Elizabeth99, My mother slowly lost almost all of her hearing from the ages of 85 to 96 - nerve damage, so hearing aids did next to nothing. She was too old (and suffering from age-related short term memory problems) to learn sign language. I basically communicated with her via a small 'white' or dry erase board. It was slow going, but 'normal' conversation was possible, with me writing, and her responding verbally. Speaking slowly and loudly while facing her, and using body language and gestures were also somewhat helpful. She passed away last month. Blessings to you for the long road ahead.
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I don’t agree about looking into cochlear implants. Look into the hearing aids. Cochlear implants requires surgery and it not worth having it because his hearing will get even worse as he gets older. Remind yourself to get his attention before you speak, turn off any other sounds, look directly at him and then you need talk to him slowly so he can read your lips Don’t talk while you’re in other room or behind him. That is very frustrating for both of you.

Find a good audiologist who can test his hearing. I am hard of hearing since birth.  Digital hearing aids work for me and I feel frustrated without them. Also, reading lips helps a lot. 
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My brother-in-law is a hearing aide salesperson who is also deaf and hearing aides don't help him either. I know there are implants (don't know what they are called) and have been very successful in patients and their hearing. Consult an ENT doctor who probably can give your alternatives than hearing aides. Good luck!
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NightOwl investigate getting your hubby earphones for the blaring TV. My dad was very hard of hearing and we got him wireless earphones and it was a Godsend. I could hear the TV through his earphones from across the room, LOL, but it wasn't nearly as bad as having it blaring through the whole room. They can make a world of difference. If you've got decent hearing, constantly listening to that loud noise is enough to drive you batty.
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Go to your audiologist with your husband for rehabilitation sessions.... Your audiologist will guide you and your husband regarding the hearing loss and what you should expect with the hearing aid and also coping strategies for communication.... Good luck
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My husband has a benign acoustic Neuroma. He is very deaf for 10 years. He is 60. I have had to ask myself why I get angry because he cannot hear? It is so unfair to him. Would I get angry if he was going blind? But there is something about having to shout, repeat, or do charades that gets annoying. Most of the things I say arent worth repeating anyhow! And the blaring TV! Oh how I hate that. But I am adjusting and he is too. Look for a support group for hearing loss. We found the Acoustic Neuroma Association and it has been great. Maybe something like that would help.
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I agree that a cochlear implant might be worth a look, but I think from what I read that his declining cognitive abilities are what is wearing you and your daughter out the most. Having recently dealt with this with my father, my suggestion would be to see if your husband qualifies for Medicare/Medicaid and get someone in for a couple of hours a day. It is not the "perfect" solution, but the opportunity to have someone else to help manage his needs while you and your daughter have some "mommy/daughter" quiet time may help your stress level. You are probably also already doing this, but a therapist is a good place to go to discuss your emotions in a safe and non-judgmental environment, and when needed, they can help you dispassionately problem solve.
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After reading all the problems with hearing, I have to share my story. I had a slight hearing loss since I was 14 years old, it gradually got worse. At the age of 30 I started wearing hearing aids, hearing got worse. By age 58, I couldn't understand speech and was thinking of retiring (I'm a teacher). I received my first cochlear implant at 59. It was a miracle. I was able to stay working. Two years later I received the second cochlear. Today at 74, I count my blessings for being able to hear. I am still teaching part time. I have seen people in their late 80's get cochlear implants and they come alive again! Medicare does cover this.
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My DH is "deaf as a doorpost" - but I was advised, not louder - S L O W E R

First off, it's not easy to speak S L O W E R but it works better and second, we ladies tend to have a higher pitch and that is the first hearing to go. (I used to call it selective hearing, until it was explained to me by the audiologist)

If your DH is a veteran - they now have "Implanted Hearing Aids" - I don't know if your DH is needing them, you can ask your audiologist. Ours said my DH isn't ready or needing them yet.

Your DH has been through a lot! It really isn't all that surprising that a side-effect of all he's been through is deafness.

For the cognition problems, I did a lot of online searches and found several supplements that have proven extremely helpful. My 96 yo DH is now awake most of the day and his cognition has improved.

I am not posting what I am using - I am not a Doctor and cannot prescribe - but you can go to FaceBook and look up "Natural Remedies, Natural Health" - EJ is wonderful at providing information. You can Private Message me if you wish.
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Hi,

I live with this but my husband is 84 and has dementia.

My husband, God love him, has been EXTREMELY hard of hearing for about ten years. It has, at times, driven me to distraction and has undermined our relationship to an extent.Here is my advice, and I mean this sincerely:

NOW while your husband is young and does not have dementia, both of you need to learn American Sign Language!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will be able to adopt many ways to communicate easily about daily things and can rely on that later.

Make it fun! take a class. Try out new ways to improve communication with it.

Do it NOW!!! Now, get it?

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Please consider looking into cochlear implants with a specialist at a hospital or qualified ENT. As a speech pathologist I know that sign language may be difficult to learn for anyone with a neurological deficit. In the interim, look into the “Signing Time” series by Rachel Coleman. It’s a fun, common sense and relatable way for the whole family to learn helpful as well as essential signs for communicating. Just remember-hearing aids and not like glasses. Nothing can restore a neurological hearing loss. Hearing aids can only amplify sound (noise), they can’t correct a hearing loss. Cochlear implants are the best option to clearly improve a significant or severe hearing deficit.
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He is likely deaf due to nerve damage from chemo and radiation so if that is the case, hearing aids may not work. That being said, make sure he has seen an audiologist who can determine if there are any devices that might work for him. ASL is a great idea. If you live in or near a large city, you might also contact a communications specialist (usually located in a rehab hospital) to determine if there are any other devices that might help translate speech to text for him. Maybe start with a local speech therapist; (look for one with a PhD) to get some ideas. I live near Chicago and at the Rehab Institute of Chicago, they have a dept for communication and they work with patients to help them maximize whatever abilities they have. So something along that line might help. QLI, Quality Living Incorporated in Omaha also works with patients and part of their program includes communication assistance; don't know if they or other rehab hospitals would see someone whose primary issue is deafness but worth a try.
Not that you have time to do this research with your job and everything else going on with him. You can dictate into a smart phone and it will send emails via Siri transcribed to text so that might work too.
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As suggested above.

Face him when talking as he MAY get the drift of the conversation quicker. I know I seem to 'sort of lip read' a little. I have had no training. It seems that I do though, because if people face away from me and talk, I miss a lot. lol

Baby signs are good. Do them with a smile. It is not always the volume (but loud is good lol) but high/low tones. I have trouble with the low tones.

Finally get a large bag.
Bit enough to put your frustration in. Tell your husband he can use it too, then laugh.

Good Luck and hugs :)
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It sounds like you have two problems. Your husband is going deaf, plus he has lost cognitive ability. You say he has trouble reasoning and is easily frustrated. That must be a great challenge as he may not be able to learn ASL easily.

For you to be working full time and trying to deal with all this must be exhausting,
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My hubby, at 66, is almost completely deaf. I have adapted by making sure that I am looking at him, and he is looking at me when I talk to him. I do write notes for him, as he doesn't hear his phone, the doorbell, etc. ALexa is set to the loudest possible volume so he can enjoy his music.

Still working FT, I don't know how he manages.

Luckily, we are seeing and audiologist in 2 weeks and I am PRAYING that he will be helped by hearing aids. We'll see.

I also do use some very simple ASL signs for him, which embarrasses him, but I can do it in public and he "gets it".
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I would look up and use at least a few simple signs. Maybe even look at "baby sign" as it is simpler than ASL.
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