Follow
Share

I understand this is not unusual in people with dementia but he insists we leave and says he has to find someone to “fix” me since I am obviously the one with a problem. He is sure we have to leave and I am not able to redirect him. I don’t know what to do and he stays angry every night.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Out of ideas-
great name by the way.
I’m glad the ice cream worked for you. My husband is watching his fat intake. So I can’t lure him with food. What a joke!
You say your husband falls a lot. So does mine. He has PD and the drug he takes lowers his blood pressure. It’s hard to go anywhere cuz I never know when he’s going down.
And because of his dementia, he doesn’t tell me he’s feeling light headed.
I do try to see the funny side of all this, but lately it’s been getting me down. I hate repeating myself constantly, as he never hears the words correctly..ie: “ do you want to go?” He hears,” is it going to snow?” Over & over, all day. It’s maddening.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Outofideas Sep 2019
I certainly understand that. The hardest thing to handle for me is the way my husband can change anything into something that makes no since to me but is perfectly clear to him and then he gets mad and upset because I don't understand what he’s talking about. Then he accuses me of having an attitude or being mean. It gets hard when all of my time and energy goes into doing the best for him and keeping him safe and it seems he could care less. He even gets mad when I give him a helping hand when he stands up or is trying to walk on his own. He has dementia with Lewy Bodies which is very much like PD. His mobility is very much effected. I have to help him get up after he falls and two weeks ago I was helping him when he decided he didn’t want any help and he pulled away from me and we both fell. I fell on my side with my arm under me and I broke a rib. Now we’re both slightly impaired and he doesn’t even remember what happened or that I was hurt. Here again all I can do is count my blessing that it was a rib and not my hip or back. Good luck with your husband and keep looking for your ray of sunshine.
(3)
Report
You can play along with him, get into the car, drive around the block or some short distance that might confuse him so he doesn't remember the route, then return home and announce that you've arrived.   If you can avoid using a route that he knows, you might be able to convince him that the house you just left wasn't your house, but that you've just drive to you home.   

Or you can say that you've been invited to stay there for the night, and will be returning home tomorrow.   You could add that you've agreed to help a friend by staying there that night.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I’m sorry. It’s so hard.
My husband gets into the garage to “work” on things. He grabs an assortment of tools, brings them in and gets so mad at me when I calmly tell him nothing needs fixing.
I hear you about redirecting. Mine won’t be redirected. I’m hoping he will get out of this phase soon. It’s a drag. Hoping the same for you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Outofideas Sep 2019
I thought this stage had passed but it just keeps coming back. Last night he found the phone I hid and called 911 to get me help. He thought I needed to go someplace and get fixed. I finally told him we would eat a bowl of ice cream while we
wait for help to arrive. I spoke with 911 before he hung up so luckily they were not going to show up. By the time we finished our ice cream I explained that 911 said to go to bed and they would come tomorrow to check on me. Thank goodness today he seems to be focusing on the imaginary men working on our house. Now I’m trying to keep him in the house and not go outside looking for men who are not there. He falls almost daily so I don’t like him out of my sight, but also don’t want to follow him all over the yard in case he falls outside. One thing about the sadness of this disease is that it is never boring and many times I just have to laugh and decide its entertainment for my soul. I just hope he isn’t aware of how sad his life is now compared to the fulfilling one he had. I wish you the best. I know we both would like for things to get better, but know that is pretty unlikely. I know I pray for quick relief for both of us, but also don’t want the end either.
(3)
Report
This is called "sundowning". You can Google that term and gets lots of information.

Meds are usually given to help with this. Is he being followed by a geriatric specialist or psychiatrist?

Please reach out to his physicians for help. ((((Hugs)))))))
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter