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He has been placed in a rehab nursing center, his dementia is much worse. It is almost impossible to talk with him. I am not allowed in the facility.
What do I do?

Yes, this is a good time to place him in a LTC facility right from rehab. You can no longer care for him.

I too suggest u see a lawyer well versed in Medicaid. As the Community Spouse you will be able to secure half your assets. The other half will be spent down for DHs care and then Medicaid will be applied for. Not sure about SS and any pension he receives. Usually these are used to offset care. But, you will be able to remain in your home, have a car and get enough to live on.
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It sounds like it is time to find a long term care facility.

If you do not have a certified elder law attorney, you can go to www.nelf.org and find one in your area. You want to ensure that you are not left penniless trying to pay for his care.

I am sorry that you are going through this and I hope that you are able to find a place that you feel comfortable with. Not all facilities are awful.
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AlvaDeer Aug 19, 2020
Good real advice about issues that have to be faced now, esp latter one of being certain that her own funds are no depleted in care.
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I don't see an answer here. I hope time will bring some healing. There seems to be no choice for surgery. Hoping he gets better. Covid 19 is making everyone's life more awful when already it is so awful. I am so sorry. I can't imagine an answer to this.
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