He insists we see the "men" and the equipment which is working across from the house. I try to to agree like the doctors say, but he wants to know what we see. I can't respond because I don't see anything. He becomes very agitated and angry. He is angry most of the time. Does anyone have a similar situation and is there anyone who has ideas about how to handle him? I'm out of ideas.
As caregivers, we need to keep ourselves from becoming total zombies by engaging, entertaining, and making a good thing out of something unfortunate. No reason not to have fun. No harm in playing along.
Consider yourself playing a virtual reality game in THEIR world. Wear their goggles. Don't expect them to wear yours.
My bro, who had Lewy's would sit with me by the hour and tell me what he saw.
He would see elaborate vignettes, anything from a garden/pool party outside in his yard to an immigrant woman huddled in the corner with her child. He would look in the distance and make out a Diego Rivera portrait of the flower market in Mexico, who calla lilies and men in baggy white pants where I saw the tranport vehicle in white with a rounded fender and black wheels. But I could actually begin to "see" what he saw in some sense. Whether his Lewy's would have got a good deal worse or not, I don't know. I DO know that agitation of any kind made the hallucinations more frequent. When he went into ALF and was no longer trying to manage at home he was so relieved and he had fewer and fewer hallucinations. Things like patterns (hotel rug or marbled walls) could bring on his hallucinations.
We didn't "argue" what we saw, but DESCRIBED what we saw to one another. He once said to me "I am not glad I don't see the world now as others see it, but I am glad that I know WHY" because we often discussed his diagnosis.
I would discuss this with your hubby's doc. Some have told me that a mild anti depressant can help both the anger and the hallucinations and the compulsive acting out. For some it doesn't. But something must be tried or you are close to being unable to manage care in home.
I sure do wish you luck and I am so sorry. This is such tough stuff. Often there is medication that help hallucinations caused by Parkinson's but it makes the gait less stable; meds that help the gait often makes for more hallucinations. Talk about a Catch-22!
We can't tell her that it's not happening because she doesn't believe us, also because she sees me doing something bad inside her head when I am literally standing in front of her talking to her. When I ask what I did, she yells at me and tells me what she saw me doing in her head. So there is nothing we can really do or tell her.
This is the nature to this disease and what works for one person may not work for another. We tried medication to help alleviate this symptom and had some success, but meds come with all sorts of other issues and warnings. Talk to his doctor or a Psychiatrist. Best of luck
Write then down in diary with dates.
What is his diagnosis? I am assuming you have taken him to MD?
This isn't something a Forum of strangers can answer, but offhand this sounds exactly like Lewy's Dementia and is how my brother's dementia first manifested, and was diagnosed: VERY REAL hallucinations.
In the beginning he was aware that they were not real and he discussed them so well, giving such details, saying they were like a dream, but he was clearly out of bed and not dreaming.
For instance:
"I look out the window and there's a pool party and I first think 'now where did I get a pool, and when?'. There's a lot of folks, some with cocktails. One guy has an Elvis ducktail haircut, really thick dark hair slicked back, a white towel around his neck, white short shorts. "
and he could go on and on in details.
Another about an immigrant woman huddling in his corner trying to protect her baby. Right down to the clothing worn.
Once he told me that what he saw, a flower market in Mexico with everyone dressed in white was "Like a Diego Rivera painting." So you can see there the combo of being still "with it" and the brain playing such "tricks with his mind".
Whatever this is, you speak to him calmly. None of this "this isn't really happening"; DO NOT DENY WHAT HE SEES, because, trust me, he IS seeing it. Oliver Sacks, the neuroscientist so involved with the study of the brain said "They have a real world; it just isn't like OUR world".
You ask him for details. You keep a diary to keep record of his responses, whether disturbed, whether he realizes at all it isn't real.
And off you go to the MD.
I wish you the best. I surely do hope you will update us.
I would call 911 and tell them he's having hallucinations and that you think he might have a UTI or some other medical emergency. You don't need to mention he has ALZ because they might not take him since having dementia is not considered an emergency. Then once he's in the ER you can have him tested for UTI or any other medical problem that might be causing his symptoms and then when he's discharged you can continue to work with his primary or neurologist to find meds that might help him (if the cause of the hallucinations is his dementia).
Others will have better suggestions, but I'm thinking, try different responses every time. Maybe agree with him, play along with him, and don't correct him, or maybe ignore it. See what works the best.
Best of luck, my heart goes out to you