My husband has Lewy body dementia. He doesn't let me go out of the house What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My husband has Lewy body dementia. He doesn't let me go out of the house What can I do?

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It becomes a horrible scene in my house if I try to go. He have always been in control of things. Social workers and nurses have been in my home and tells him your wife needs to be able to go out for a little while but he ignores what they say.

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My LBD husband thought he could take care of himself and did not object to my leaving -- sometimes didn't even notice I was gone. I always explained where I was going and when I would be back and reminded him of how to call me on his cellphone. I left a note saying, "I'll be back by 4:00." And when I came in the door he'd say, "Oh? Were you out? Where did you go?" As the dementia progressed he could not be left alone, even for an hour.

Your husband may not be ignoring what the social worker and nurses say -- he may not remember.

He makes a scene when you are leaving. How long does this last, do you know? If someone is with him do they say he settles down? Often children fuss and cry when their parents leave, but as soon as the car leaves the driveway they are eager to play games with the babysitter. You husband isn't a child, but it would be interesting to know if his tantrum blows itself out.

I wonder if it would help any if he were in control a bit. "I have to grocery shop today, and run some errands. Would would it be better to do that in the morning or afternoon? I need your advice." Write his decision on a white board. "DH says to shop in the afternoon." And when you leave add under it "I'll be back by 3:30." I have no idea if being consulted would help him at all, but it is worth a try.

You absolutely have to go out sometimes -- and not just for errands. You need to meet friends for lunch or coffee sometimes. You cannot be a prisoner in your home. If there is a scene each time, I guess that is just how it has to be. Remember that the disease progresses and often behaviors change. Let's hope this possessiveness passes on its own!
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Ok....so next time he wants something to eat...sorry I couldn't get groceries..where are the clean clothes? Sorry I couldn't get detergent... harsh I know..but one way? Do you have a child who could visit with him while you go? Or a friend? Sounds like he shouldn't be home alone
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