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Jan 2025, hired a private home nurse/caregiver to help me care for my husband who has dementia/Parkinsonism since 2017. April 23, she asked to borrow $280 to renew her insurance & DL issues. Since she was working for us I did not doubt she would repay us. In May I asked for payment, she said she was still trying to get on her feet. My husband has bone on bone joint pain and his gel injection for June 10 co-pay was about $269 so I needed money back to help with that. Still could not repay. I told her I needed my money by 2nd week in June. During this time I was still paying her after her shift even though she owed US as she was still needing to get back in her feet. June 9th we had an altercation. As a result, she no longer works for us but has not paid back the money she owes us. She has lied & said she put the cash money ($150) in our street mailbox & her “friend” who was with her can vouch for that. She also said she took out $130 for the recliner she gave us, which is also untrue. That would equal $280. I did not have the extra money to loan her but felt I needed to help her since she was working for us and asked directly if we could loan her the money. I questioned if she ever borrowed from her other employers as it seemed unprofessional. She stated she could not borrow from family or boyfriend. In text messages I repeatedly asked for the money back and she accused me of “harassment”. She has made threats to share personal info I shared in confidence with her with family members & APS. I’ve been my husband’s sole caregiver since we’ve started this journey & it’s been very hard. We have been estranged from our kids/gkids for 2 yrs now. Heartbreaking. Life is stressful as is our financial situation. Now, I’m having to deal with trying to get money back that was owed to us. It’s my understanding that her actions as a nurse & caregiver are unprofessional, unethical & illegal not to mention including elder abuse. I researched how to make someone pay back money owed. I don’t know what to do? We need the money. Is what I read true? The relationship changed when she asked to borrow money… maybe I lost respect for her? My opinion of her changed. She no longer works for us. Do I have any rights? What is the legal & ethical way to make her pay us back? As a nurse, did she cross the line? I want to send her a “Demand Letter” /certified letter to let her know the seriousness of the situation but don’t know & can’t find her address. Can you offer any advice please? Thank you!

Eyessosoft, if you can get personal information from her references you can use that to file a 1099 to her. This would give her a nice surprise when she defrauds the government. Because I guarantee that she is not claiming her wages if she is getting paid cash. Wouldn't that be sweet justice.

I hate that people or should I say animals, think they can abuse elders in any way, shape or form, personally, I would rather see my tax dollars used to keep these lowlifes in prison than someone caught with weed. Or better yet, put there lowlifes selves on a desert island ALL together with minimal resources and let them kill each other. That's a just reward for anyone that harms elders. Just my personal opinion.

I would hang this biotch in any way possible.
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Eyessosoft Jun 15, 2025
I plan to figure out my portion of taxes as I did not take out any… didn’t really know how. But yes, I’m going to figure out my portion or what I need to do. I know if she never pays me back I could include the $280 as income. Everything I’m planning will be a surprise for her. I’m not telling her anything!
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Yes, as a nurse she crossed the line.
However, the concern now is why are you loaning money to nurses, and if it is being loaned, should the person making such loans still be in charge of holding the purse strings. The answer is probably no.

In short, this person should lose her license to practice. I would tell her that if you do not have the money returned within two weeks you will be going either to the DA office, the Board of Licensure for Nursing, APS, or an attorney, and in fact that you may go to all four within a weeks time; This will initiate with the Board of Licensure an open case and investigation.

I would call APS yourself. That will put the stopper on any nonsense about her complaints to them about your care of hubby, and if there ARE problems then perhaps APS should be aware of them.
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Eyessosoft Jun 15, 2025
Thank you. Just want to know I am doing what is legally right. Needing to seek counsel with Elder Care Atty about revising our Will as our kids are estranged now and was going to ask/pay the atty to send Demand Letter in hopes of getting her to realize the seriousness of the issue. Definitely changed the dynamics. Lost a little respect for her. Thank you for your response. Very helpful. Not sure what/how APS can help?
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This woman is not a nurse. She may not even be a certified aide. You should have had it in writing that she borrowed the money and it would be taken out of her pay, at so much a pay. Yes, its unprofessional to ask for money. Its not harrassment to ask for something your owed. I think your going to have to let this go.

These aides are not your friend, they are your employees. I know your lonely and they are someone to talk to but don't give them personal info. Sorry to say, you are out $280. I doubt you can afford to hire a lawyer. And its her word against yours. Maybe hire from an agency next time.
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 15, 2025
Just so everyone knows, small claims does not require an attorney. Think of People's Court. You file the suit, show up in court and present the evidence you have and the judge decides if under the law, you are eligible to receive whatever you have sued for.

It is not guaranteed that you will get paid, even if you win. You need to decide what you can tolerate personally in any legal situation.
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Are you sure you ever got her real name? Any pos that would do what she did is a professional thief and they know more than an honest person could ever imagine.

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do, if you can get the courts to allow delivery of summons by text. Unknown if you can do this, well worth calling the small claims court in your county to find out. Is to file a small claims suit against her. Your text messages will prove that you had a verbal agreement and you loaned her money.

In the future remember, you are not a bank, if an employee needs more than they are earning, they need to modify their budget and live within their means, you are not a bank!

I am truly sorry that your were ripped off by a scum of the earth. Hopefully the next time she tries this she gets her just desserts for being such a sum bag that she targets the sick and elderly. IMO that person is fodder for hell fire and has earned the burn.

Let this be a cautionary tale for anyone looking to hire in home help. Do background checks, have written contracts, get pictures of ALL requirements to legally work and licensing requirements, this gives you information on the person(s) you are trusting your most valued possessions with.

Again, I am so sorry for your situation. Call that courthouse Monday. A small claims might be available to you.
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JoAnn29 Jun 15, 2025
She is being threatened.
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Let it Go .
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Eyessosoft Jun 16, 2025
Can’t do it. What she did and how disrespectful she was to me as an arrogant employee is not acceptable to me. Don’t say things to me like “you have issues”, (who doesn’t?!?),stand in front of me talking over me let me know she wasn’t interested in what I had to say about her actions and she wanted to make sure she was heard. No interest in speaking civil to each other and then she made personal attacks. She went TOO FAR and definitely lost her credibility with me. I will pursue this as soon as I can give it more of my attention. Thank you for your feedback.
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