I hear you, but I lost all my social contacts because of always staying with him that by now I lack of things I like to do if I have some one staying with him.
Adult Day Care (ADC) was a life saver when my mother's care required my constant attention. Those 3 days a week she was picked up by a van and returned 7 hours later were wonderful. I took grands to the splash pad in the park. I did shopping. I slept without listening for mom.
I loved my mother and have no regrets over choosing to care for her at home but as she required more care I realized I need some help; a few hours each week to back away from constant care giving. ADC and hired care givers who stayed with mom so I could attend thr kids' games made a big difference. I encourage to find some type of similar arrangement. The Area Agency on Aging in my area made me aware of an ADC program I didn't know of - and it was free - sponsored by the state to assist older folks that couldn't otherwise get to senior centers. Mom enjoyed the van rides and seeing others at the center. She was always disappointed when weather or covid issues closed ADC for the day.
You need and deserve some time to yourself. He may not like it, but that's OK. I would start bringing help in - for YOU! When my mom with dementia lived with me and hubby, I started with a housecleaner when she could no longer take care of her bedroom and bathroom. Then I started with some caregivers and increased it until I needed to put her into AL.
By hiring some in-home help that will lift some of the burden off you. And also by taking time away doing things that bring you joy as you matter in this equation too. Hiring in-home help will allow you to be able to get away to have some fun and rejuvenate your soul so you can continue on this journey with your husband.
I loved my mother and have no regrets over choosing to care for her at home but as she required more care I realized I need some help; a few hours each week to back away from constant care giving. ADC and hired care givers who stayed with mom so I could attend thr kids' games made a big difference. I encourage to find some type of similar arrangement. The Area Agency on Aging in my area made me aware of an ADC program I didn't know of - and it was free - sponsored by the state to assist older folks that couldn't otherwise get to senior centers. Mom enjoyed the van rides and seeing others at the center. She was always disappointed when weather or covid issues closed ADC for the day.
Best of luck.
Hiring in-home help will allow you to be able to get away to have some fun and rejuvenate your soul so you can continue on this journey with your husband.
If you are getting overwhelmed with all there is to do, then it's time to make a change.
That could be bringing in housekeeping/laundry/mealprep help. It could mean he goes to Adult Day Care s couple of AMs a week.
Can you figure out what YOU need?