He walks around all day and wanders into other residents' rooms. They complain to the staff and the director calls me to complain. What can I do to help him?
The director calls you to complain??!? Something is wrong there. Either you misunderstand what she thinks, or you are in the wrong facility. Your husband's behavior is PAR for the course! There should be corrective measures within the facility
My mother's memory care has locks on the residents doors to prevent wandering into one another's rooms. The residents aren't locked INTO their rooms......others are locked OUT of their rooms and a key is required to enter each room. It's really a very simple answer to avoiding big issues, in reality. Plus, it is NOT against the law, as some people insist....its up to each MC as to how they want to handle it. I wouldn't have my mother live in a MC where she wasn't allowed privacy in her own room. The caregivers use their key to let the resident into their room, or the resident can wear a key on a cord around their wrist.
If the MC is complaining to you that your husband is unable to find his room, then something is seriously wrong with the administration of the MC and they don't know what they're doing. YOU shouldn't have to do anything to help hubby find his room.....the STAFF should be helping him, that's what you're paying for and what he's doing in MC to begin with! Speak with the executive director of the place to see why they can't manage the staff properly and ask if you should start looking to relocate your husband to a properly run facility. Seriously. They're expecting YOU to manage your husband while he's a resident in THEIR facility! What's wrong with that picture?
Demand a satisfactory resolution to this problem or start looking for a better run MC for DH. Best of luck!
That's what I was thinking when I read it. He's in a Memory Care facility, meaning he has a hard time remembering. I'm sure he's not the first or last one to have this issue. Why isn't the staff directing him to the correct room? What is Weary Jean supposed to do about it? When I read that the director calls her to complain, it made me so angry!
My Mom was in an AL that mixed their residents. The building was rectangular. The Hall ran down the middle running all the way around. No matter what direction you went, you ended up in the Common area. My Mom was allowed to walk the halls. There were couches and chairs, even a bookcase of books along the way. I once found her shoes neatly left next to a chair. She rarely stayed in her room. The staff actually liked keeping her in the Common area but u could usually find her walking. I am sure though when they started getting residents ready for the night, Mom was walked back to her room. I am sure they went to get her for meals.
Your in MC because you have some form of Dementia. Short-term memory is part of the desease. So boggles me why a MC would get upset about his wandering. I may call other MCs and see what they say about wandering.
Errr............................ I can't believe they are complaining to you about your DH wandering into other's room because he can't remember his. That's is why memory care was created. Now if he is a danger to other residents..... that is an entirely different thing. And BTW...... how come they don't notice that he is wandering away from the group or an activity? I realize they are short staffed but they took your husband in and are accepting money for him so they need to suit up and get to work. Make sure they have activities or something to get him interested and as others have said..... push back on the director a bit.
Ask the MC facility to put pictures of the residents on their own doors. The staff at MC is responsible for redirecting their residents; this is why they are in MC.
I share everyone's shock that they are calling you to complain about this. It is fairly common for people with memory loss! I have a picture of our family dog that died over 20 years ago on my mom's door in memory care and that seems to work for now, but even that memory will eventually go.
I think you should push back a bit if you are feeling up to it. Ask what they usually do in this situation, as you put him in their care as they offer memory care and this is obviously linked to his memory so what are they going to do about it other than calling you? You could even say that you asked for advice on a forum for caregivers and they were shocked the facility thought you should deal with it!!
My Dad's memory care facility had the same thing for each resident. I found it interesting looking at the other curio cabinets to learn a little bit about who were Dad's neighbors.
This is completely typical of people with these problems. I see all the time - I live in assisted living. If they are really bad and causing problems, I think it is time to put the person into a nursing home. There is NO way to keep them from doing this and the staff should know that. And if the staff sees them wandering, they should bring the person back to the room. I don't think putting big signs or whatever is going to help - their mind is gone as they are. If they complain, they are not doing their job properly to prevent people from doing this and perhaps a move is in order to a more secure place.
Put his name on the door in large letters and the pictures as others have said. Then tell the MC to stop calling you with complaints illustrating THEIR failures, or you might think twice about the wisdom of keeping him there or recommending it to anyone else.
When dad was in the nursing home (not memory care) the staff was always talking about how he didn't know how to get to his own room and wandered. When they finally started allowing visitors to come inside, I got to go with him to his room. So I would ask the staff, which way to his room? Three workers were asked and had no clue. Finally, a patient told me where to go and which room.
I agree, what kind of MC is this? This is normal. An aide should be taking him back to his room when he acts thats where he wants to be. Who is calling you? Because I would ask "Is this not the reason he is in MC because he has "no memory". I would also ask "what do u think I can do about it". Maybe find another MC because this one looks like they have no idea how Dementia works.
Your husband has trouble finding his own room because he's in MEMORY care. He doesn't know his room from any other. This is not your problem, it is the facilities. I would venture to say that almost every MC facility has to deal with this problem, and, in fact, should expect it. What exactly do they expect you to do? My wife wandered into other rooms, and other residents wandered into hers. I once found another resident in my wife's closet. The staff found my wife asleep in another's room. The family of the facility's residents should be told this happens and why. I think the staff is ill trained to handle these situations.
To expand on cxmoody's idea of placing a picture on the doors, also add the statement “This is XXX's room” along with the pic. Every room should have these on the doors.
Maybe a decoration from home that he will recognize?
Possibly a picture of the two of you from younger days? Sometimes, a person will recognize a picture of themselves from when they were a teen, for example. Or, your wedding picture.
Thanks for answering, cxmoody. I have a family picture on the door taken 30 years ago. He recognizes but doesn't always look at it. I have pictures of him just outside the room as well as a sign with his name on it. You'd think that would be enough but it's not. I'll try the wedding picture.
If the MC is complaining to you that your husband is unable to find his room, then something is seriously wrong with the administration of the MC and they don't know what they're doing. YOU shouldn't have to do anything to help hubby find his room.....the STAFF should be helping him, that's what you're paying for and what he's doing in MC to begin with! Speak with the executive director of the place to see why they can't manage the staff properly and ask if you should start looking to relocate your husband to a properly run facility. Seriously. They're expecting YOU to manage your husband while he's a resident in THEIR facility! What's wrong with that picture?
Demand a satisfactory resolution to this problem or start looking for a better run MC for DH. Best of luck!
Your in MC because you have some form of Dementia. Short-term memory is part of the desease. So boggles me why a MC would get upset about his wandering. I may call other MCs and see what they say about wandering.
I think you should push back a bit if you are feeling up to it. Ask what they usually do in this situation, as you put him in their care as they offer memory care and this is obviously linked to his memory so what are they going to do about it other than calling you? You could even say that you asked for advice on a forum for caregivers and they were shocked the facility thought you should deal with it!!
Good luck.
Put his name on the door in large letters and the pictures as others have said. Then tell the MC to stop calling you with complaints illustrating THEIR failures, or you might think twice about the wisdom of keeping him there or recommending it to anyone else.
Imagine that!
To expand on cxmoody's idea of placing a picture on the doors, also add the statement “This is XXX's room” along with the pic. Every room should have these on the doors.
Maybe a decoration from home that he will recognize?
Possibly a picture of the two of you from younger days? Sometimes, a person will recognize a picture of themselves from when they were a teen, for example. Or, your wedding picture.
What does his door look like now?