He walks around all day and wanders into other residents' rooms. They complain to the staff and the director calls me to complain. What can I do to help him?
For goodness sake, he's in memory care for a reason! What exactly does the director think you are supposed to do? The only thing you could do to help him is to give him his memory back and that's not gonna happen.
I would have a few questions for director, next time you get a call: - what do you do about your other MEMORY care patients who wander? - is it common for memory patients to become MORE aware as the disease progresses, because I thought otherwise and took him to a memory care facility - repeat bullet #1 several times until director understands this isn't their first rodeo if they are in the memory care business and by now should have ways of directing someone who is wandering toward the right path.
If hubby is in MC, the staff should be able to resolve this. It is up to them to get him to his room - not yours. They are supposed to be experienced in working with dementia patients who are confused and don't know what they are doing or where they are going.
Talk to the Director to get this resolved. MC cost big bucks - this should be included in what you are paying for.
Is there a stationary object near his room? Like a chair, garbage can, desk, elevator, cabinet, etc.? Something he can easily see/get familiar with to let him know he's near his room? Maybe he's looking for something familiar. Maybe looking for someone to chat with.
He’s in memory care and the director is calling you to complain that he is having memory issues?
You have already done the right thing! That’s why he’s there, silly director!
Now the director needs to focus on their job (taking care of their patients who are there due to memory loss) instead of unnecessarily stressing out family members who aren’t even physically present!
WearyJean: Imho, that's rich! Your husband is in Memory Care for a reason and the director needs to get a better handle on her business model. She should not be calling YOU, but figuring out what SHE needs to do for her patients.
Maybe you can put a poster up on the door -so he can recognize his room. or pictures of himself or you or something that he can relate to. Good 🍀 luck. Keep us updated.
I put a picture of our family on the door and a picture of him with our great granddaughter just outside his door on a shelf. Yesterday, I hung up our wedding picture. It doesn't seem to help with the wandering, but maybe it will help him find his room.
Its a bit much the director calling you to complain, he/she runs the facility, presumably they expect to do some work and understand cognitively affected people. Sit down with them and discuss the care and type of facility he needs and if they cannot provide it then move him. If he needs to be in a locked facility then sad though that is it will be safer for him. Either they cope with wandering residents or they don't but they don't put the problem back on you.
In Moms AL the front door had a keypad. The emergency doors didn't. If u pushed on them for 15 seconds they opened. Mom went out them a couple of times. We were warned if it continued she would not be able to stay.
take a picture of your husband and yourself standing next to the room number. Encase this in a name tag he can wear on a lanyard around his neck . Try to teach him to use that to identify his room.
are you allowed to hang a picture of him on the door, with his name in bold letters. Allot of assisted living facilities, let you customize the door to help dementia patients find their room. Best of luck and Blessings.
Does he recognize his own face? If so, then maybe put his photo on the door, and put a reminder on something he has on him (emergency button or name tag) that reminds him to look for his picture. You could also print his name in bold letters and put that on the door to his room. I label and put instructions on things that help remind my person what she is supposed to do in that room. (for example, "Flush the toilet" in the bathroom) Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
This isn't an answer, but an echo of other answers: How can a person be blamed for wandering into other people's unlocked rooms, when he doesn't even recognize his own home, or know where any of the rooms in it are?
My husband constantly asks me where the bathroom is (we have four), where his bed is, where are all the other people (who don't exist), and to help him because he needs to go somewhere (but has no idea where).
Moving him to a facility isn't going to change this, and will probably make it worse. That's why, even though I am exhausted from caring for him, I'm afraid to place him. I'm afraid the facility will only make even more work and worry - for me!
The picture on the door thing will only work as long as the patient has the wits to look at it. We are talking about people who, tragically, have lost their wits. What I am reading, here, is very scary. It implies that "memory care" is really just an expensive three-hots-and-a-cot.
What do they do when the person *has no one* they can call, to pester about the right way to care for a demented person?
I would have a few questions for director, next time you get a call:
- what do you do about your other MEMORY care patients who wander?
- is it common for memory patients to become MORE aware as the disease progresses, because I thought otherwise and took him to a memory care facility
- repeat bullet #1 several times until director understands this isn't their first rodeo if they are in the memory care business and by now should have ways of directing someone who is wandering toward the right path.
Talk to the Director to get this resolved. MC cost big bucks - this should be included in what you are paying for.
Good Luck.
You have already done the right thing! That’s why he’s there, silly director!
Now the director needs to focus on their job (taking care of their patients who are there due to memory loss) instead of unnecessarily stressing out family members who aren’t even physically present!
or pictures of himself or you or something that he can relate to.
Good 🍀 luck. Keep us updated.
Allot of assisted living facilities, let you customize the door to help dementia patients find their room. Best of luck and Blessings.
You could also print his name in bold letters and put that on the door to his room.
I label and put instructions on things that help remind my person what she is supposed to do in that room. (for example, "Flush the toilet" in the bathroom) Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
These are amazing, experienced answers.
Good for all caregivers! 🎶🫂💖🧸️ 💯
I will be confused....
My husband constantly asks me where the bathroom is (we have four), where his bed is, where are all the other people (who don't exist), and to help him because he needs to go somewhere (but has no idea where).
Moving him to a facility isn't going to change this, and will probably make it worse. That's why, even though I am exhausted from caring for him, I'm afraid to place him. I'm afraid the facility will only make even more work and worry - for me!
What do they do when the person *has no one* they can call, to pester about the right way to care for a demented person?