My husband has been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia (FTD) and refuses to take medicine or follow up with the doctor. Is anyone else having this issue? - AgingCare.com

My husband has been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia (FTD) and refuses to take medicine or follow up with the doctor. Is anyone else having this issue?

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He is mentally and verbally abusive to me as well.

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I do have trouble with DW taking her meds which include two daily vitamins. Now with the vitamins I found she will take them since I started giving her the gummys. The others!
That is the challenge. Sometimes I have to turn the TV off to get her attention. She has held them in her hand several minutes before taking them. She hates taking meds and any long term treatments.
I have even ground them up to a fine powder and mixed them into her ice cream. That worked. But only with ice cream. Pill crushers did not work. The pills are lumpy and she would find the lumps and spit them out. While in rehab we finally just tole her they were her vitamins and then she would take them easily.
Now I have to hover over her and keep pushing them toward her mouth.
The silly girl will hold them in her mouth until they dissolve and make those awful faces before taking the liquid to wash them down.
Pulverizing them and mixed with a favorite snack is the easiest method I found. I used a morter and pedistal to crush them because of the lums she would find and spit out.
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Reply to OldSailor
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I forget who it is but someone on this board who dealt with a husband with Lewy Body Dementia used to call the other personality "Lewy". She'd say to her husband "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Lewy." I thought that was pretty brilliant.
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Reply to Marcia7321
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Thank you all for your response. It is very hard because in aspects he is normal. It's like he's two people.
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Reply to TinaEV
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And I agree with everything Marcia said. Very good advice to contact eldercare attorney. FTD patients can be strangely gullible and/or profligate even in the earlier stages. This is a terrible disease and very hard on caregivers -- rated as much harder than any other dementia (although it sounds to me like Lewy Body might be at least as hard). My heart goes out to you all who have to live with and deal with this disease.
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Reply to Laurellel
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Please don't try to take care of this situation without help. This disease is happening to you as much as it's happening to him. You made a good start finding this forum. Reach out to the doctors and get a social worker to help you find resources in your area and make plans for the future. If you and your husband haven't done it already, you need to get your finances in order. A visit to an elder care attorney would be money well spent.
As much as you can, reframe his nasty behavior as a symptom of his disease and not him, himself. His brain is broken. That probably doesn't make what he is saying less hurtful, but he wouldn't be saying it if he wasn't sick.
Please don't try to do it all yourself. It's a very difficult disease to manage. I agree with everything Laurellel said!
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Reply to Marcia7321
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Tina, I am so sorry you are having to live through this. An anger phase is common in FTD. I was very fortunate with my Dad, as he only went through a sort of ornery phase, especially when it came to being "bossed". Sometimes patients in this phase will respond to some meds well, but meds used for difficult Alzheimer's patients can make FTD patients worse, particularly benzodiazepines. Some caregivers cope by placing their loved one in a facility until the anger phase has passed or can be managed with meds.

I highly recommend the FTD Support Forum at www.ftdsupportforum.com You will find great advice and kindness from those who have walked in your shoes, as well as lots of excellent information.

You can find videos by Teepa Snow on You Tube that are super helpful with managing some of the behaviors. She is amazing!

Also search this forum for FTD more info and advice. I listed some more resources on this one, and others here have given much good help. https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mother-has-had-signs-of-dementia-for-a-year-the-doctor-diagnosed-frontaltemporal-lobe-dementia-437017.htm?orderBy=recent&page=2

Again, I am so sorry. Do protect your own safety and sanity!
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Reply to Laurellel
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Have you spoken to his doctor about the change in his mental status?

Have you considered calling 911 if you feel threatened?

Could he have a UTI?

Does his insurance have a "nurse line" you can call?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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