Relatives really should NEVER be counted on for help with a family member. I know that sounds cruel, but, since there are so many CG companies, and your DH is in a NH--what would relatives be DOING anyhow?
Of course he's unhappy there. That's the typical feeling of someone who is in a NH.
It is probably 100% up to you to provide support, visits and such. IF there are family/friends who wouldn't mind going in to VISIT (not do hands on care) then you could reach out to them and see if the could schedule a visit once a month or bi-weekly.
There's a woman in my church community who has been in a rehab facility going on a year--we schedule visits each Sunday for 5 of the days of the week. Nobody is overwhelmed and she loves knowing someone is coming to see her.
She is actually VERY upbeat and so grateful to everyone who helps her along what's been a VERY long journey. Her attitude makes it easy to go visit her.
Maybe you can work something out like this. IDK. This scheduling takes a huge load off of the family.
If you have no one to fill the void--I do feel sorry for you and your DH. If it's any consolation (and I know it's not) Dh would probably be unhappy at home, too.
OP, it may help you both to remember that if he was at home and bedridden, he might still be very unhappy. You can be just as lonely in one room at home. Follow up on the suggestion for a wheeled recliner, so that he can at least get out and see different people. Best wishes, Margaret
Even if you had relatives, you couldn’t count on them to help. He needs professional care and is where he needs to be.
Make an effort to make each of your visits special. Take him a milkshake or something he likes to eat - institutional food gets boring. Take a small jigsaw puzzle that you can work on together when you’re there. Show him cute videos on your phone - cats are good. Keep your visits fairly short and give him something to look forward to each time you show up.
If he can't be in a wheelchair, could he be in one of those wheeled recliners the nursing homes use for patients who can't sit up enough for a wheelchair? Getting out of his room and having breakfast with other people, attending bingo and any other activities made a difference for my ILs.
I think it is rare to find someone who "likes" being in a nursing home. Not everything can be fixed. Sometimes the only option is not pleasant. Just attempt to make visits when you can, and realize that this is no one's fault. No one caused it and no one can fix it.
Of course he's unhappy there. That's the typical feeling of someone who is in a NH.
It is probably 100% up to you to provide support, visits and such. IF there are family/friends who wouldn't mind going in to VISIT (not do hands on care) then you could reach out to them and see if the could schedule a visit once a month or bi-weekly.
There's a woman in my church community who has been in a rehab facility going on a year--we schedule visits each Sunday for 5 of the days of the week. Nobody is overwhelmed and she loves knowing someone is coming to see her.
She is actually VERY upbeat and so grateful to everyone who helps her along what's been a VERY long journey. Her attitude makes it easy to go visit her.
Maybe you can work something out like this. IDK. This scheduling takes a huge load off of the family.
If you have no one to fill the void--I do feel sorry for you and your DH. If it's any consolation (and I know it's not) Dh would probably be unhappy at home, too.
Make an effort to make each of your visits special. Take him a milkshake or something he likes to eat - institutional food gets boring. Take a small jigsaw puzzle that you can work on together when you’re there. Show him cute videos on your phone - cats are good. Keep your visits fairly short and give him something to look forward to each time you show up.