My husband has Alzheimer's. Will we always be able to share a bed or is it best to get single beds?

I have thought through our own experience of this, more from pain than from dementia. If one of you is restless in the night, or noisy, it is hard for the other to sleep. Without adequate sleep, it’s harder for each of you to cope next day. So the problem partly depends on being close together in the same bed, and partly on how lightly the carer sleeps. Clearly, this could be an issue with dementia.

The best option is a bed in another room to go to if things are difficult, which we have at home. However it only needs to be a single bed or a ‘day bed’ that doubles as a couch. My own method in a one-bedroom city flat is a high quality but narrower foam mattress on the floor, which slips under a couch out of sight in the daytime. However I can get up from the floor OK, which may not work for others.

Another option, depending on space, would be to keep a double bed but have a second single bed in the same bedroom room – the usual option in motel rooms. That copes with restlessness, and noise can be coped with good quality ear plugs. It would also have the advantage of allowing cuddle time (not so easy with two single beds) and keeping the bed-time experience the same for the dementia partner.

Good luck!

My father had to eventually move to a separate room as he was disturbed every single night by my mother who had Alzheimer’s. She also became aggressive towards him and had never ever been previously, so he was safer moving rooms.

My GFs mother had to start sleeping in the guest room. Her father went to sleep very early and was up at 5am. He never bothered her in the other room. Only way she could get her sleep.

2 twin beds can be pushed together to make the illusion of 1 king. It may develop that you have to frequently change your husbands bed (like daily) and a twin will be much easier to manage. And if he eventually needs a hospital or adjustable or pressure sensitive bed, the change won’t be so drastic.

If you can manage it, it might be best to get a separate bed that you can retreat to if your husband is disturbing you or vice versa; but from the point of view of keeping his surroundings as familiar as possible I wouldn't change his bed unless/until you really have to.

Is this already becoming a problem or are you just wisely looking ahead?