I can’t help but wonder if men have a harder time with this than women because of childbirth. There’s no modesty in childbirth…. And other stuff can come out that aren’t babies… I know I’m a lot more devil-may-care after having my two.
But, in regards for advice, I think the first thing you should do is acknowledge his feelings. It would be embarrassing, especially the more cognizant you are, and modest. Maybe call the nurse in so there three of you can talk about it together? Maybe you can create a “bathroom plan” with the focus to reduce his anxieties as much as possible, like playing music that will help him think of other things, using a plug-in wipe warmer, and maybe a little reward wouldn’t go amiss? Maybe he gets a small treat every time he calls?
The nice thing about being in a place like a hospital or a rehab place is that frankly, you're just another body to a nurse. Sure, she can be kind and talk to you, but she doesn't lose sleep over you, and your naked body is no more embarrassing or exciting to her than a Toyota Corolla is to a mechanic. It is what it is.
Try to get your husband to just get over it, because the only person worrying about his dignity is himself. It's a bit of a "if a tree falls over in the forest, does anyone hear it" scenario -- If hubby's the only one concerned about his losing his dignity in front of a nurse, is he really losing his dignity?
I know when the day comes that my husband ever goes into the hospital, he'll be exactly the same way. He cannot fathom the indignities that go along with being a patient, but of course, having given birth three times and experiencing a lifetime of OB/Gyn visits and mammograms, I have zero sympathy for anyone freaking out about having some see their personal parts.
My FIL adjusted to this with grace. Kept it short, always polite, factual but without oversharing.
"Excuse me Nurse, could you please help me to the bathroom. Thank you".
Done.
Oh & PS: does he needs incontinence briefs as mobility makes it hard to get there in time? Well. He if needs 'em he needs 'em! Ask him to use his common sense.
I wore incont. briefs when heavily pregnant as mobility & stress incont were issues - then afterwards for many months due to muscle damage.
Shirley - ask him if he thinks wetting or soiling himself is more dignified than asking for assistance....
Have you ever considered both of you moving into a care home? It seems to me that way you would both be happier because you could be together and he would still have the benefit of many caregivers.
But, in regards for advice, I think the first thing you should do is acknowledge his feelings. It would be embarrassing, especially the more cognizant you are, and modest. Maybe call the nurse in so there three of you can talk about it together? Maybe you can create a “bathroom plan” with the focus to reduce his anxieties as much as possible, like playing music that will help him think of other things, using a plug-in wipe warmer, and maybe a little reward wouldn’t go amiss? Maybe he gets a small treat every time he calls?
Try to get your husband to just get over it, because the only person worrying about his dignity is himself. It's a bit of a "if a tree falls over in the forest, does anyone hear it" scenario -- If hubby's the only one concerned about his losing his dignity in front of a nurse, is he really losing his dignity?
I know when the day comes that my husband ever goes into the hospital, he'll be exactly the same way. He cannot fathom the indignities that go along with being a patient, but of course, having given birth three times and experiencing a lifetime of OB/Gyn visits and mammograms, I have zero sympathy for anyone freaking out about having some see their personal parts.
My FIL adjusted to this with grace. Kept it short, always polite, factual but without oversharing.
"Excuse me Nurse, could you please help me to the bathroom. Thank you".
Done.
Oh & PS: does he needs incontinence briefs as mobility makes it hard to get there in time? Well. He if needs 'em he needs 'em! Ask him to use his common sense.
I wore incont. briefs when heavily pregnant as mobility & stress incont were issues - then afterwards for many months due to muscle damage.
I needed them. I wore them.
Have you ever considered both of you moving into a care home? It seems to me that way you would both be happier because you could be together and he would still have the benefit of many caregivers.