My husband got mad at me and attacked me. Any advice? -

My husband got mad at me and attacked me. Any advice?


I punched him in the chest to get him off me. I left our home for an hour. He was apologetic. I am his caregiver. He is in the third yr of diagnosis, getting worse, angrier, outspoken, mean and argumentative. It may be time to place him in a full care facility, I am seeing an elder lawyer next week, We are moving from town to town for more assistance have sold and purchased another house closer to the children, He can't drive, pisses him off, he is not happy, hasn't anything he wants to do. I am becoming fearful!

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Start now and find a facility for him, for the safety of both of you.

If this is the first time physical abuse has occurred, it's an early warning.
Helpful Answer (2)

My MIL went through what you are experiencing. I do not think that he hit her, but he did many dangerous things. She did have to call 911 a couple of times.

I sincerely believe that your husband would be better in 24/7 care. You both would be safe.
Helpful Answer (2)

vicki, some people with dementia do become violent. Your last sentence about becoming fearful says so much. I agree with you that it may be time to consider placing him in a facility that is equipped to deal with the violent outbursts. A way you might be able to accomplish this is to call 911 to get the police involved when he gets violent. Ask them to take him to an ER for evaluation. From there you have a chance to get him admitted to a facility so he can get help for his anger (probably through medication). Please keep yourself and your family out of harm's way. This is your husband, but he is different now. I hope that this is just a phase, so you will be able to visit him without worry soon.
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Talk to his doctor and medicate him into pacificity. If I were determined to take care of him at home, I'd do that without a second thought. If he gets placed in a nursing home, after all, that's EXACTLY what they'd do.
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HI Vicki, It's time for a 'family council' with your children. Assuming the family dynamics are good, all together you can can work on alternatives that would be right for yor husband. Since he is suffering from dementia, he shouldn't be part of the discussions. I strongly recommend that you join a support group for those dealing with memory loss. Check the Alzheimers website for caregiving ideas. There are special ways to handle those who experience memory loss and you can benefit from those suggestions - both here on agingcare as well as through support groups and the alz website.

You should not have to live in fear for yourself. Sometimes having your loved one participate in a day care program a few times a week and/or having a companion or aide come a few days a week will help. It gives you much needed time alone and gives your husband a change of company. And, at some point, a facility will be right so you can be the wife rather than the care giver. Good luck
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