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My husband had been very ill for over 10 years with Autonomic neuropathy. We were told often that he could linger for years or would die in 6 months, 2 weeks, and every other time imaginable. He always got a little bit better but declined very slowly. It shouldn’t be a shock but it is. I just can’t believe he really did die this time. He also kept going though bedridden and in pain the last 1 1/2 years. I took care of him at home with absolutely no help from family. A couple of friends would occasionally bring groceries and pick up his medication when I couldn’t safely leave him alone. I’m so tired and can’t sleep.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagne the emotional cliff you’re balancing on. Your friends who helped you...could you perhaps ask to spend a couple of days with them? I’m sure they would love to help you again....they may not know what to do or what would help. A few days in a different environment, maybe helping them decorate for the holidays, or do some cooking, or just girl things like a massage, might help you relax a little. Just a thought. Hugs.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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Do you have any type of routine that helps you stay focused & busy during the day? I just thought it would help cuz suddenly you have a radical change in your lifestyle,(& it's certainly a shock), even if you knew he was terminal. Also, if you can join a grief support group, I'm sure it would help.
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Reply to Tiger55
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Big hugs to you!!! Just things day by day.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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I send you hugs and I smile for him. No pain, at peace.
Love helps, hope keeps you going and good old fashions stubbornness does the rest.
When you can, I wish you a peaceful sleep.
Take care
Buzzy x x
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Reply to BuzzyBee
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Thank you so very much for all of your kind words. At first I couldn’t sit still, sleep or eat but that is getting better now. I ate 3 times today just because I have to. The paperwork, oh my yes, so much to go through. I’m thankful he was a excellent record keeper but there are so many. I’m thankful to have this to do. I may put up the Christmas tree tomorrow can’t imagine without him but it will be pretty. God is with me and as you said he suffers no more. Thank you again! God bless you.
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Reply to Hopeful23
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I'm so sorry for your loss. He's at peace and no pain, now.
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Reply to shad250
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Sorry for your loss. As said, give yourself time. Work into things.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Give yourself time, I have always believed that we can never be prepared for the loss of a loved one.

Maybe you can get a friend or two to come stay a couple of days and give you some TLC?

I pray that God blesses you with grieving mercies.

Hugs!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I feel so bad for your loss. What a champion you have been, giving all you could possibly have given. Now you must feel empty without your husband to care for, and that might cause your sleeplessness. You will now have to fill your life with other activities that matter, perhaps to continue some of his important work or things you once did together when he was healthy. It might be good to see your doctor or a massage therapist or someone who can help you with the overwhelming grief. Memories are a gift to those of us who remain. Tell his story.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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Dear Hopeful, I am so very sorry for you with the death of your husband! You deserve unlimited hugs & blessings for the care you provided these 10 years. Of course you are tired beyond belief & unable to sleep. With all the ups & downs & uncertainty of 24/7 caregiving for years, your nervous system is wound up tighter than a clock. It will take time for your body to recover from adrenalin overload. There is comfort in doing the small things of daily life: folding towels, drinking a cup of cocoa, watching birds, reading, knitting. Transitioning from "have to" into "want to" can be one step forward & three backwards at first. Remember that you are not alone & you are loved. The wonderful people on this site are always here with hugs & hope & advice & love & prayers. They will be here for you anytime you reach out. Sending hugs, prayers & peace to you! GOD bless you and keep you!
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Reply to Longears
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I am so sorry for your loss. Give your self some time to grieve, and get through all the paperwork and stuff. Then hopefully you will be able to "relax" a bit and get some rest. I know when dad passed my mom was so frantic to me to "get everything done" that I never really even got to grieve. Just watch out for some serious depression, where all you want to do is sleep. Then you may need some help.
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Reply to pamzimmrrt
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