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She is on hospice right now and also receiving help through Medicaid for in-home care. Our question is how can one of us get paid to do this care instead of a stranger?

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California has IHSS (In Home Support Services). You will take a class, be fingerprinted (you pay $36.) and fill out tons of paperwork. In San Diego county they make $11./hr. Phone number for SD county 800-510-2020. If you're not in Calif., look it up on Google.
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In some places that may be permitted with required training and certification, a prerequisite. It differs on what state your are in. Call the caseworker.
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