My husband and I (86 and 74) are aging in place until we sell. We have limited family out of state who would come in crisis.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "emergency contact" but if you are looking for someone to be your durable power of attorney advocate, here is a recommendation:

https://endingwellpatientadvocacy.com/about-ewpa

Without knowing exactly where you are in Northern California, It's difficult to give resources but the "Village Network" model can be excellent in any part of the United States. Here's a link to the one in Petaluma

https://www.villagenetworkofpetaluma.org/

It might be helpful for you to contact a local agency for help with resources and to help you decide the type of place, if any that might be suitable for you. This would all be at no cost to you as the agency is paid by a facility if you do decide to move in. I can highly recommend Independent Living but it's not clear to me if you need more help than that. Check the resource below, it is in Petaluma and I highly recommend Marcy. Give her a call and see if she can be of help to you in sorting out what you actually need.
https://www.seniorcareauthority.com/locations/santa-rosa-ca/about-us/

I think you should call your Office of Aging to find out what resources are out there for you. Senior bussing to appts and shopping is one thing. I think what your looking for is a Home Health Aide (HHA). There are also Certified Nurses Aids (CNAs) but they are more hands on. Both have been certified by the State. Your O if A can explain the differences in each. Some have these people on staff. How much u pay may be determined by your income.

There is also Medicaid in home. You need to be low income and there is an asset cap.

Thanks for responding. Senior residential communities are confusing me. Some of the "assisted living" advertise "activities"....well, that's alot of money for "activities" which many people say wears thin after the first year. We need real help in day to day living. There are a couple of "over 55 Mobile Home Communities"; however, yes, life is easier in a mobile home but still no services with day to day living....transportation, shopping, etc. We may as well stay where we are. And of course there are the "Seasons" retirement communities, very expensive homes with a clubhouse....again, activities but no real help. We know one couple who bought one, moved into this community and no one talked to them! Ugh. Again, may as well stay where we are.
If you know of any good communities in northern california, please let us know!
Thanks so much.
Nell73

An estate lawyer recently told me that she sometimes serves as executor of wills for her clients. She has many elderly clients and her practice is located in a retirement community. I’d start asking estate lawyers near you and see what info
you can find.

Go to www.aarp.org. You’ll find a wealth of information when you look up “geriatric care managers.” These are professionals who manage care for elders. It may be exactly what you need.

Good luck!

Sorry that you have found yourselves more or less alone as you are aging.

Do you have all your paperwork in order? Will, living will, POA for financial and healthcare? I know that attorneys can be the executor of a will.

I would get some help for yourselves so that all the work is not on you. I would be very reluctant to give any power to a hired helper. I wish I had more advice for you.

You and your husband are in a group called Elder Orphans.

If you search this term (or Solo Ager) a lot of information will come up, some hopefully useful to you.

There is actually a FaceBook page dedicated to people who are Elder Orphans.

A smart strategy would be for you and your husband to choose a good, reputable community that provides a continuum of care as your needs change. You move there before you think you need it. If you wait too long and you develop cognitive or memory impairment, you may never be able to execute any plan you had made.