Hi, it's me again. Was my granny's caregiver for 4 years. Luckily, we found a caregiver so I can work full time. My mom have been working overseas for almost 2 decades and will visit us on July this year. However, it has been confirmed that granny has tuberculosis. Doctors say it's contagious. I have certain allergies to antibiotics and has goiter as well, my son is 12 years old and has history of tuberculosis when he was still 3. We relocated and granny was left with the caregiver. But recently, she's been texting me basically saying that I don't care about her. How can I stop myself from being guilty?

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Here is what I found on TB

By airborne respiratory droplets (coughs or sneezes).

Although tuberculosis is contagious, it's not easy to catch. You're much more likely to get tuberculosis from someone you live with or work with than from a stranger. Most people with active TB who've had appropriate drug treatment for at least two weeks are no longer contagious.Jan 30, 2019

I do agree that if your immune system is low, you may likely get it. But it looks like if Gma is on Meds she is no longer contagious.
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Karen, I'm not sure what sort of support you would like from us right now.

You don't want to go to visit your grandmother. You feel guilty about not going.

The thing is, with a new job and a child to take care of, there must be a zillion good reasons why you're not free at the moment to go and visit your grandmother.

We can say "ooo no you mustn't go, you might catch TB" if that helps. But that's not really the reason why it doesn't suit you to visit her for the time being.

So what I want to say instead is that if it doesn't suit you, for any number of reasons large and small, that is FINE.

I'm sorry that your grandmother is feeling "abandoned." But you haven't abandoned her. You have left her in good hands, while you get back to work and take care of your son.

What about other ways of showing that you care that will fit better into your schedule?
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GloomyKaren May 2019
Letting me vent out is already a big help. Truly thankful for this group!!
Yes he did, he's fine. He had his xray done last year. That's the thing, I'm not feeling too good lately. And as far as I know, you can get it when you have a weak immune system.
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TB is contagious but it is not very easy to catch, assuming the sort of good basic living conditions and nutrition and health care you would expect in the USA. Unless there is something seriously amiss with your health, you wouldn't catch TB from your grandmother just by going to visit her.

When you say your son has a history of TB from when he was a toddler, has he been checked out more recently than that?

How far away from your grandmother are you and your son now?
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